Bully (discontinued)

16

*2 years later*

It's been two years since Dylan left. Two years since i started writing. I miss him so much. It hurt more and more every day. He was my best friend. He never even said goodbye. I wanna hate him, but I can't. I tell myself everyday that I hate him for leaving. I tell myself to hate him for leaving, for making me weaker. In reality he made me stronger and I know that. Some part of me doesn't though. I feel weaker than ever before. Uncle Ashton and Brandon haven't moved yet. They still live here. Dad says that it's good for me to have someone my age to hang out with. I think he forgot that I had someone. It's just that he left to find himself. That's all. I still feel like I'm the reason he left. I have no idea why though. I didn't do anything? Maybe that's the problem, I didn't do anything. I didn't see how much he was hurting. For that, I get punished. My punishment was losing him. He always helped me when I was upset or felt worthless. Was I rubbing off on him when I was upset? Probably. I always cause problems. I wish I could just crawl in a corner and disappear. I don't think anyone would notice anyway. They would forget about me, just like they did, Dylan. I wish he wouldn't have left me behind. Why couldn't he bring me with him? Everyone around me, acts as if he's died. We aren't even allowed to say his name anymore. Which is sad because, they want me to forget. To forget all the memories we had. Weather it was good memories or sad memories. They all turned into memories that I will never forget. I wouldn't be able to forget them even if I wanted to. Dylan will always be part of me. He always said he was tired. Was that code for something? Something he wanted me to find out. I decided to look it up. I got up out of my bed and went over to my laptop that was laying on my desk. My bedroom has been my living space for about 3 weeks now. I haven't left it once. Dad, uncle Ashton or Brandon would always bring me food so I don't starve and sometimes if he had time, Brandon would sit with me. So I don't get too lonely. But after a while he would get a text from his dad, then he would leave. Leaving me alone again. I feel like Dylan felt before he left. I feel invisible. I opened my laptop and searched T.I.R.E.D on Google. What came up on my screen surprised me.

-Depression code-
T.I.R.E.D

I clicked on that link to see what Tired meant to the depressed.

-Tired-
Torn
Insecure
Ready
Empty
Dead

I started crying and slammed by laptop shut. Why wasn't I able to see how tired Dylan was?! I don't hate Dylan for leaving. I hate myself for not noticing Dylan's pain. I went back to my laptop and started writing.

Dear Dylan,
I feel invisible Dylan. Can you come back just for a while to get me? It feels like you've died. You told me you would text or call or something when you found somewhere to stay. You haven't done it yet, and it's been a month Dylan. Why can't you just come home? I miss you so much. I don't wanna miss you anymore Dylan. Come home soon. xSKYLARx