Player's Game

14 - A Game of Only Dare

___

Tiana

God, please help me get myself together, that's all I ask and nothing more. Please help break free from this man and his sinful lustful grip. I'm not sure if he is good for me, I just need a sign, a message to know if I should stay or if should go. I don't want to lose myself again.

I sighed falling back first on my bed. Can my thoughts get any worse? I was feeling everything today, my mood soaring in and around then colliding all at once as soon as a little inconvenience of Andrew popped up into my head. I couldn't allow myself to fall into that void, never again, I vowed to myself the day I escaped my ex was the day I would fall for no man. A ding came from my phone, and there he was with a simple Hey Princess and a little white heart ending the sentence. My smile widened and I hugged my phone, blushful and giddy, like a sixteen-year-old as if her movie fanaticise had come to life.

I have broken my vow and find myself dreaming of more. No matter how much I wanted out, there he was pulling me in with the simple and wholesome things, and here I am back to square one fighting everything within me to protect my sanity. By now I was used to the idea of Andrew being around this often and the fact that I was starting to accept him being this romantic and affectionate was beyond me. This can be such a dangerous acceptance, especially when you are holding onto a fantasy or a delusion, you become attached and when they start pulling away your mind your heart will start to scream and cry until it somehow kills you.

Helplessly and ever so daringly, I write back with a blushful smile;

Tiana - hey, cutie

Andrew - I was thinking about you, wanting to see if you are free.

I rolled my eyes with a smile, throwing my phone to the side. Prioritising me, check.

My mother had promised that we would go shopping later, but it doesn't seem that she has finished the conference she was in. With all of her projects scattered about, critical merchandise for important clients had to be prioritised even when she was on leave; ABSOLUTE INTERIOR DESIGNS have exploded since we came into this town, and my mother hasn't been able to settle since we placed the first box in our home.

On the contrary, Mum and Dad had managed to organise themselves within a month of us moving in, alternating between their home office and their city office, but it appears both have yet to get away from either. Andre was fortunate to escape to the town with my father, assisting and shadowing him in an entirely different field with my father's firm, as a financial manager who budgets and distributes company resources to all departments. They weren't doing much or going too far, but they were spending valuable time together... in the same room.

I'd like to believe that Andre and I were fortunate enough that our parents were not so overburdened with work and had enough free time to spend the month together. We spent the whole morning until lunchtime together just as we did when we weren't so preoccupied, when it wasn't so overwhelming. Mama and I had made our traditional European crepes whilst the soft melody of our favourite Macedonian song mixed with my father's and Andre's banter. Days like these I wish they lasted forever.

Andrew - just dinner, maybe a drive, anything. I miss you.

 Thinking of me, check.  I am absolutely and utterly dick-whipped and yet it was still so hard to believe he was already living up to his promise and acting on every expectation that I had in a man. This was an important value that I craved: that flutter and eagerness to see him later, or even in such a short week for them to make time for each other, not because it was a requirement, but because it was something that they truly want. I was powerless to give in to him.