blue jay | janiel

thirty

a/n: late update because I've been really sick & going through some shit at the moment.

Joey

I woke up alone the next morning. My pillow was drenched with tears and snot and I pushed it off the bed in disgust. I'd taken 2 sleeping pills last night but they didn't work, so I had Daniel on my mind for hours. I had thought we had something truly special, a once in a lifetime soul connection. It was so hard to believe that he betrayed me.

Come to think of it, everything was a lie. His smiles were never genuine, every laugh was fake and I wondered if all the things he said were fake too. Did he really have an abusive alcoholic dad? Did his parents split when he was 16? Did he even have a brother? No, of course he didn't. It was just a lie to get out of the motel, to get away from me.

My mind was in a tizzy and I had a huge migraine. I dragged myself out of bed and headed to the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of Advil off the bottom shelf.

"Hey Joey," Preston yawned, waking up on the couch.

"Hm," I grunted, twisting the cap off and taking a pill. I downed it with a water bottle that sat on the counter.

"So how'd it go yesterday? Is Derek in the hospital?" Preston asked sleepily, his eyes closed.

"Yeah, he is," I replied shortly.

"Is he okay? I hope-"

"He's a cop," I blurted out.

Preston shot up, his eyes wide in shock. "Are you serious?"

I put the pill bottle back in the fridge and slammed the door shut.

"That lying bastard!" Preston exclaimed, standing up. "I knew from the moment I first saw him that he was bad news."

"Just drop it Preston," I muttered.

"No, I can't drop it. He lied to us big time man. Derek needs to pay!"

"Daniel Preda, not Derek."

Preston snorted. "Daniel fucking Preda. That little cocksucker piece of shi-"

"Jesus calm down," I said, growing aggravated. "And he doesn't need to pay, he's got it bad already. He's in a hospital bed remember?"

Preston leaned against the couch.
"What'd he look like?"

I gave a little shrug. "I didn't go in."

Preston gave an exasperated sigh.
"You know what this means don't you?"

I shook my head.

"We have to get out of here before the cops get us," Preston said, running to the other room. I followed him to see he was already stuffing clothes in his bag.

"No ones coming after us. Daniel didn't snitch," I announced, my arms crossed.

"How can you be so sure?"

"His boss called the whole thing off."

Preston sat on the bed. "Well damn."

I walked out of the room to get some cereal when Preston called my name. I turned around, nodding my chin in the air.

"Do you still love him?"

Wordlessly I turned back around and went to the kitchen. I didn't know what to answer. Of course my feelings of love were still there but I was also confused, hurt and angry. I was angry he lied to me, I was hurt because he lied to me and I was confused about our entire relationship.

For the next week, Preston's question stayed at the back of my mind. I spent my days in bed, crying and ignoring my responsibilities. Preston tried giving me food and trying to get me up but I never did. Instead I lay a miserable mess, numb and heartbroken. I wondered if Daniel ever loved me. There must have been something between us...I sure felt it.

One afternoon I was lying on my side, staring off in the distance as I remembered the good times Daniel and I shared. The more I thought about it, the more I missed him. I wanted to kiss him and hold him. I wanted to run my hands through his gorgeous brown curls and tweak his little cheeks.

I couldn't take it anymore. I threw off the covers, went to the bathroom and washed my face for the first time in a while. Then I changed my clothes and drove to the hospital with a ray of hope in my heart.