Forever. (A Bucky Barnes fanfiction)

Chapter 28.

Jump jump jump jump jump, should I? The policeman says no but my heart and body say go, I stand on the edge of a bridge, a tall bridge, where a fall would definitely kill someone. I begin to laugh hysterically,  the policeman standing behind me trying to get me down carefully approaches. "Did you know." I say, stopping mid laugh, speaking to the officer without turning around. "The human mind is just a circle, going round and round and round and round WAIT! Yes! No! The human mind is a square, not an infinite circle, but still never ending, like a train a train a trainee train train! But sometimes the train falls off the tracks and that results in someone like me! Insanity, criminality....loneliness....but but but but but but but! They claim to be able to fix it! They put big padded things on your hands that they claim are to protect you from yourself but really it's to protect them. they shock your brain not to cure you but to release their stresses of the week! If you disobey then they turn you into a human vegetable, alive but not alive, unmoving and unable to speak but still breathing. They claim its for the best and then they'll kill you after two weeks of keeping you alive in that state all because of the satisfaction the doctor gets from having the power to end someone's life. People, PEOPLE desperately conjure up ways to kill themselves because they don't have a rope or gun. a young boy, bashes his skull into a concave unbleeding mess using a nightstand corner. They make the walls white because they claim it calms you down,  but the white, the white, bare walls surrounding your white nightstand and your white bed with white sheets and a thin white blanket, and you in a full white uniform, with nothing to do, so white makes you even crazier, suggesting in your mind that pain no longer exists so you throw yourself against the walls, you think people are coming for you to kill you and sometimes the walls seem alive. And if someone escapes, they go back into the world only to be greeted by a manhunt looking for them, not as a person but as a creature. The doctors and psychiatrists make up stories and funny little lies that make people believe that the crazies are no longer people, that the insane  lose any touch of humanity they once had. We aren't monsters that will kill anyone that gets on our way we are people, PEOPLE who have a battle inside each of our minds both sides trying to win and it slowly kills us. Slowlllyyy slowlllllyyyy kills us but we we're still here! Yes yes we are, but only until the doctor wants his power trip again. Remember this. Let them be my last words, and tell my friends that I loved them dearly. Fair thee well." I chuckle, then taking a deep breath, the tears in my eyes mean nothing to any of those people surrounding me, watching anxiously, I look around at everybody, then laugh heartily.
"If I had wings like Noah's dove
I'd fly up the river to the one I love
Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well
If I met your man, who was long and tall
I'd hit his body like a cannon ball
Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well
One of these days and it won't be long
Call my name and I'll be gone
Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well
I remember one night, a drizzling rain
Round my heart I felt an achin' pain
Fare thee well, oh honey, fare thee well
When I wore my apron low
Couldn't keep you from my do'
Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well" I sing, spreading my arms out, and leaning backwards. I can hear the people screaming and yelling, as I fall through the air, no, fly through the air, to the fast approaching water below, I chuckle to myself, it's time to give myself the floor. Boom, I wake up to me falling fast towards the sea, I guess this is it then, not gonna panic, just gonna silently pray. What has my insanity gotten herself into this ti-