My Lie in April

Chapter 9

The last few contestants go up. Then the competition is over. We leave out seats and head for the main lobby. We see Friend A through the glass door. He is with someone. I recognize her. Her name is Hiroko Seto. She's Japan's leading pianist.

They talk a little while we spy on their conversation. She gives him a hug. Friend A blushes, finding it embarrassing that a woman is hugging him in public. She let's go and faces us. Then Friend A turns. Busted. We walk through the door now that our cover is blown. Hiroko puts her arm around Friend A. She asks him something, but she whispered it to him, making sure that we couldn't hear. He gets frazzled as she waves goodbye.

We anxiously wait for the results, even though we already know he didn't make it. They finally post the results on the board. And as expected, his name is nowhere to be found.

We all walk home together under the starry sky. The sound of a distant train coming closer and closer, Friend A ahead of us. He hasn't shown any emotion to losing the competition. He starts running. Then screams as the train whooshes by. I've never seen him this mad and disappointed before. But I'm glad that he's disappointed because it means that he wants to continue playing the piano. I'm so selfish. All of the things I have put him through is for myself. I never thought about what he was going through when I asked him to accompany me. Gomenasai. I'm sorry that I put you through this hell for myself. Gomenasai.

The bell rings as I walk into my parent's pastry shop and my house that is right above it. "Hey, Kaori. How was Arima?" my dad asks.

"He was extremely entertaining!" I respond. The smell of cakes consume my nostrils.

"What do you mean?"

"Details later! There's a letter for you," my mom hands me the letter.

"I'm wiped. I'm gonna go to bed." I walk up the stairs towards my room. Tired, I lean on the handlebar in the hallway, and continue walking. I open my bedroom door and shut it behind me. I plop down on my bed, face first into the pillow. The letter by my side. I haven't opened it yet. All I know is that it's from the Towa Hall Music Competition...

I bust through the door of the roof. Watari, Tsubaki, and Friend A, there as always. "Two days ago, an invitation from the Towa Hall office arrived," I hold up the letter above my head.

"Is that by any chance, the gala concert?" Friend A asks.

"Bingo! A gala concert is basically a special performance held to commemorate something. In this case, a recital to mark the achievements of the winners and other top performers of the Towa Hall Competition," I explain, "We've been invited," I look over at Friend A.

The light, hot summer breeze blows through my hair. We walk to the music room. "We are going to play Kreisler's Liebesleid. Love's Sorrow."

"We're playing that at the gala?" he asks. I could see the tension in his face. "Usually you would play something more showy."

"Everyone else is doing something showy, so a piece like this will make us stand out."

"Can we do something else. Something cooler." he pleads.

I walk over to my violin, disregarding the question Friend A asked. I open the case and hold it in my arms, hugging it. "Sorry," I whisper to it, "As someone who dropped you, I don't deserve to be a violinist. Gomen. Please bear with me for just a little longer." I stand and turn around to Friend A. The sunlight, shining through the window onto my back. "All right, let's do this."

It's night. Tired of practicing, we head home together. Crossing Doryo bridge. The water underneath, trickling by. The moon peeking out behind some clouds. I look over and see a patch of grass with fireflies. I run over to them in awe. Friend A right behind me. We watch them as they fly around, lighting the space around us.

"They're so pretty," I marvell, reaching my hand out to grab one, being careful not to crush it. I open the palm of my hand, the firefly resting in the middle as it's wings flutter. "So fragile and weak. It's shining with all its might. The glow fading in and out, like a heartbeat." I close my palm a little and bring it close to my chest. "This is the light of life." I raise my hand up above my head and release the innocent creature.

I put my hand to my mouth as if holding a microphone. "Testing, testing." I bring the imaginary mic to Friend A's mouth. "How was your first competition in ages?" I laugh.

"I felt it... that everyone has something deep in their hearts. It might be hostility for some. For others, aspirations, hopes, dreams, the desire to show off. Thoughts of wanting to reach out. Feelings for one's mother. We had our personal emotions to lean on." The firefly's glow saddens his face.

"What about you? What did you have in your heart? What did you lean on?"

"I had you."

My heart lifts all the way to the stars shining down on us, then comes crashing down, shattering. "'You know, I'm not always going to be around to help you.' Charlie Brown," I whisper to myself as he walks away from earshot.