The Stage Door (Camren/Norminah)

I'll Take Care of You

Camila POV

I stepped out of the shower and threw on my housecoat before walking back into the main area of our dorm. "Lauren?" I asked looking around, but seeing the space void of the older girl. I picked up my phone and sent her quick text and proceeded to put on my pajamas. I stood in the mirror dressed in a pink fair-isle patterned onesie and studied myself as I had done so many times before. I definitely didn't see what Normani saw, I was no bombshell.

It was getting dark and I was starting to worry about Lauren. I had gotten caught up standing under the water, letting it wash away the day's stress and before I knew it I had been in there for a lot longer than planned. I didn't know exactly how long Lauren had been gone, she hadn't told me she was going out, in fact she hadn't said a word to me since we arrived back on campus. My best guess was that she had slipped out as soon as she heard the water turn on, well over an hour ago.

Camila: Hi. Just checking in. Are you okay? Where did you go?

Lauren: Out.

Camila: Are you okay?

I sighed loudly, flopping my body down onto my bed, crawling under my covers and adjusting my pillows just the way I liked them. The last message I had sent her clearly said 'READ,' but there hadn't been any reply. I tapped out another message, but quickly deleted it. I didn't want to bother her, after everything she had told me today, I decided she needed the space, it's not as though she didn't know where to find me if she needed me.

I pulled my backpack off the floor and onto my bed, searching for my notebook and pencil case, humming a melody in my head as I began to work more in depth on the assignment for my Music and Composing class. Everything I had written earlier in the day seemed so juvenile, so incomplete, so not in tune with the subject I had decided to write about, with Lauren's admittance and disclosure at the restaurant, I saw a side of her I didn't know existed. A side that seemed as though it was hidden under all her layers scratching at the surface to show itself. She was more than she appeared, she had a depth, she had a story, and looking down at what I had written was not doing her any justice.

Frustrated, I ripped up what I had already compsed and tossed it into the waste basket beside my bed.

"Maybe I could write about her eyes," I contemplated out loud, finishing the thought in my mind. 'Though no word in any language could possibly describe that kind of beauty.'

Picking up my phone once more I scrolled through the photos I had taken since arriving at school, only a few void of the divine human being I was so privileged to have as roommate. I studied her face, her lips, her eyes, the curve of her face, that jawline, those cheekbones, those eyes.

I closed my own eyes and took a heavy breath.

'Camila, you can't think like that,' I reminded myself. 'Remember what happened last time, remember what happened at your old school. You aren't gay, you like boys. Don't make your life harder than it has to be, you weren't raised that way.'

"Maybe I need a new subject," I concluded opening my eyes and taking in the photo before me, yet there was feeling in my stomach that was blocking out my mind, telling me not to just write about anything, but to write about her.

I tossed my notebook back into my bag, my head was to cloudy to write and it was getting late and I was just too tired.

There was a bang, a crash, and a loudly slurred string of curse words that jolted me awake. The room was pitch black, the red numbers of my alarm clock giving off the only faint glow of light.

2:00 AM.

"Lauren?" I whispered rubbing my eyes and reaching over to flip on the lamp sitting on my bedside table. "Lauren, is that you?" I asked again as I looked over to see her curled into a ball on her bed, her chest heaving.

I slipped out of bed and made my way across the room.

"Lo?" I whispered causing the dark haired girl to roll over and look at me. Her hair was a mess and her dark make-up was in streaks down her face. She smelled of alcohol and cigarettes and I could do nothing but shake my head. "How much did you have to drink? How did you even get your hands on alcohol?" I asked, watching as she dug around in her pocket and held out a fake ID in front of me. "Oh, well, uh-"

"Why didn't they want me?" It came out as a single word, a guttural, heart wrenching question, one I didn't have the answer to.

"Hey, let's get you to bed, you'll feel better if you get a good rest," I said, knowing it was complete bullshit. "Here, come here," I pulled Lauren into a sitting position and slowly removed her leather jacket from her body. "Get undressed, I'll get you some pajamas," I ran a hand through her hair, it was tangled and slightly damp and I wondered briefly if it was raining outside.

I stepped back, doing my best not to let my eyes linger for to long as she sloppily pulled the shirt she was wearing over her head and dropped it to the floor. I grabbed the first thing I could find out of her dresser, a black pair of sweatpants and a white sweater that read Carrollton Softball across the front. I handed them over and excused myself to the bathroom while she changed.

I counted to a hundred and grabbed Lauren's hairbrush off the counter and ran her face cloth under warm water, before I proceeded back to where Lauren was now sitting cross legged on her bed, staring at her hands as she absentmindedly pulled at her sleeves. "Sorry, I was trying not to wake you," she spoke slowly, trying not to slur all her words and I couldn't help but smile as I lifted her face to mine and wiped away the black stains on her face.

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize, honestly, I'm just relieved you made it home in one piece," I whispered, throwing the cloth into my hamper and slipping in behind her. I watched her face relax as I reached up and gathered all her hair behind her back, running the hairbrush through it gently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Mm-no, I just want to forget," I could hear her choking back her words as she fought her tears and I set down the hair brush and wrapped my arms around her from behind. "I just want someone to love me," there it was another break in the tough outer layer of all that was Lauren.

I felt her slump backwards, her back leaning heavily against my chest and I knew I had no words to help the situation, so I just held her tighter and did the only thing I really knew how to do and that was sing.

"...So open your eyes and see the way our horizons meet and all of the lights will lead into the night with me and I know these scars will bleed, but both of our hearts believe all of these stars will guide us home..."

By the time I had finished the song, Lauren was asleep in my arms and I gently settled us both down onto her bed, pulling the covers up over our bodies, her breath was slow and shallow and I just laid there listening to the inhale and exhale as my fingers aimlessly circled the sliver of exposed skin on Lauren's stomach from where her sweater had lifted just slightly.

"Don't leave me," Lauren breathed out, startling me as she rolled over, facing me, her nose brushing against mine. I watched her eyes flutter open for just a moment before closing again as she drifted back to sleep. And it was right then, in that moment as I let myself memorize every freckle and every eyelash on her face, that I realized I would not be getting any more sleep tonight.