This Is How It's Supposed To Be

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Camila POV

"You're sure?" Ally asked me and when I nodded my head and told the girls to go on without me they hesitantly complied. I watched my friends board the bus for the beach and then made my way back to my dorm room, alone and still wondering where Lauren had taken off too.

Camila: Lo, please?

Still no response from Lauren. I sat on my bed, in our room and looked around sadly at what it had become. It looked a lot different than it had a couple days ago. Lauren's bed on one side, mine on the other. Lauren's things on her dresser, my things on my own. Our clothes weren't strung over one another's desk chairs, they weren't tangled together in piles on the floor. Our room looked like it was lived in by two separate people, it hadn't looked like that in weeks. And our plan to put it back as soon as our parents left school grounds last night was never carried out as if it was a metaphor for mine and Lauren's relationship at that moment. After fishing the key to Normani and Dinah's room from my pocket, I made my way into their room to retrieve the things I had brought earlier in the morning, when I was still hurt and angry, now I was just concerned what the last twenty-four hours meant for Lauren and I.

I dropped my things to the floor of the room that currently looked like it wasn't even ours and set to work. I was still hurt by the words she had said, but I knew that they weren't said with malice or truth behind them and that made it a little easier. Lauren's admittance about not being good enough to give me the world, when she said I was going to leave her too, forced me to become angry at myself, I knew the feeling all to well, the feeling of not being good enough, the feeling of being left behind and I had done that to Lauren this morning. I didn't really have a plan, but I formed one as I went along. I started by pushing our bed back together in the middle of the room, fixing the blankets so it looked like one big bed rather than two smaller ones, I pulled some of my sweaters from the closet and hung them on her desk chair and placed her Bob Marley shirt and leather jacket over mine. I moved all my bows to her dresser so they could mingle with her hair products and moved her jewelry to mine, so the pieces could be reacquainted with my perfume and body lotion. I grabbed out makeup and threw it all into a single bin and placed it in the bathroom on the counter and put my toothbrush back into the holder with hers, I quickly grabbed one of Lauren's red lipsticks and wrote a simple message on the bathroom mirror. 

'This is how it's supposed to be.'

I grabbed Lauren's towel from over the curtain rod and placed it back onto the rack next to mine and in a split second decision I tied them together at the ends as if I was hoping somehow it would hold Lauren and I together. I emptied my dirty clothes into her laundry hamper and placed the empty one back into the bottom of the closet, the way it had been before and I mixed her clothes in with mine, moving hanger after hanger until there was no longer a line drawn down the center of the space marking my side from Lauren's. 

"What are you doing?" I heard the voice and turned to see Lauren standing in our doorway holding a few bags and it was obvious she had gone shopping, I watched her place the bags on the floor and she slowly walked around our room, looking at all I had done or in our case, redone to our room. 

"I'm not leaving you, just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean I'm leaving you," I said honestly, my eyes still searching for a sign from her that she knew I still loved her. "We're gonna fight, probably a lot cause we're both pretty stubborn, but I won't leave you."

"I messed it all up," Lauren whispered and I shook my head. "Don't, don't shake your head. I messed it up with Clara and Mike and I hurt you and-"

"Let's go," I said holding out my hand and she looked at me curiously and I knew she was silently asking me for more. "We're going to the roof," I told her and she just nodded her head and watched me grab my guitar and sweater from our bed. 

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