A Muslim's Past [COMPLETED]

Chapter 7

Amrah's POV

Retrograde amnesia, that's what Uthman had. It had been a whole week now of coming in and out of the hospital. The worst thing about everything was that the accident hadn't even been Uthman's fault. It had just been a case of wrong place, wrong time. Schools always taught us the importance of cautious driving. Safe drive, stay alive. But what were you meant to do when there isn't anything for you to do.

Leaving the hospital's hallway with its white-washed walls emphasised the feeling of isolation I was feeling. I should be lucky right, that he was still alive. But seeing my brother in that situation was not right. I knew this was a test from Allah Ta'ala. But I just didn't really understand how to feel. The suddenness of it was a shock, how could it be that one day we were laughing and the next day he'd be lying in a hospital? Eventually, sleep managed to reach me and I fell apart from the realities of this life.

This was my first day back in school since the accident. Honestly, I didn't see the point of going. But I couldn't really argue with my mum after everything. I didn't want to walk in form but I had no choice in. People bombarded me with questions. Gosh, it had only been a week, I didn't see why people were getting all worked up. I avoided as many as the questions as I could, I didn't really want to put up with peope's fake sympathy or pity.

"You should eat." Rania pushed a plate of food in front of me.

"Why are you offering me food? You never offer me food." I just wanted things to go back to normal. Rania shrugged,

"I thought I'd be nice." Rania and Amy seemed to be walking on glass around me and I hated that. I appreciated it though.

School finally ended and relief washed over me. Unlocking the front door, I noticed an unknown pair of shoes. I heard a voice. Atif. I didn't really want to deal with anyone so I didn't bother to go into the room. I went straight up to my room, but I guess he kind of assumed I would do this because a couple of moments later there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I called out. The door opened and he walked in,

"You didn't have to ignore me, you know." I didn't say anything back and he remained silent.

Are you okay?" he said to me quietly. I nodded my head, I would never know what went on in this guy's head. He just didn't make sense to me.

-Start flashback-

"You don't believe me, do you?" Tears were in my eyes. I couldn't believe this. I wanted to go into a hole and die. That was what I was thinking. My own family were disbelieving me. The only people that I could go to were looking at me with faces of distrust. In that moment, I hated them more than I could ever hate even him.

-End flashback-

Four years after and I still sometimes felt I would wake up with tears running down my eyes and I knew exactly what I had dreamt about. I always woke up early as I would often sit for a minute and rewind it in my head, playing it over and over again. I had gone through every possible scenario in my head; every choice I could have made that wouldn't have lost in so much pain. I should have called my mother to pick me up, I could have taken the bus, I could have walked with someone else. I tried so hard to convince myself it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't. Not with so many people against me. I wanted to forget but I could never escape from that experience.

"Why are you crying? Uthman is getting better." I felt selfish then. All I could think about was myself.

"Yeah he is. Do duaa for him." He smiled at me and spoke again,