A Muslim's Past [COMPLETED]

Chapter 15

Hasnain's POV

"How's my dad?" I asked my cousin who had come to pick me up from the airport.

"I mean they are better than before. But...," his voice trailed off. We remained in silent on the journey home. My cousin had picked up some food for me on the way but I couldn't bear to eat it. I felt so tired. I just wanted to sleep. My legs felt like jelly.

My cousin pulled up to the house. It bought back so many memories. He got out of the car and unlocked the front door for me. I think he expected me to go inside but I just couldn't. I shook my head,

"I want to go to the hospital first." He frowned,

"Are you sure? You look knackered."

"Yes I'm sure. I came here to see my father, not go sleep." He sat back in the car and started driving.

"Look Has, I know you and Uncle haven't had the best of relationship ever and I know you're feeling guilty."

"What makes you think I'm feeling guilty?" He raised his eyebrow and I didn't say anything. Why did my family know me so well?

"Uncle may not have always had the best way of dealing with you but it was always for your benefit. Even if it didn't seem like that at the time. Remember that." I remained silent. I didn't really have anything to say. My father and I may have had our problems but at the end of they they would always be my father.

Walking down the corridors of the hospital with the white-washed walls flooded me with horrible memories. My eyes caught sight of a blue poster with it's logo in the corner;

Help us beat cancer sooner

It wasn't soon enough. I scolded myself. I couldn't think like that. It wasn't right.

The grey curtain was the only thing separating me from my father. I moved it back slightly and stepped in.

The man lying in the bed in front of me did not look like my father. His skin was sickly white with patches of pink. The hair on his hand seemed as if it was going to fall off. Tubes and wires were everywhere. This could not possibly be my dad. My dad was healthy and looked young. Who was this man?

His eyes flickered open and it took him a few seconds to notice me. When he did, he lifted his finger ever so slightly.

"Hasnain..." his voice came out raspy. It sounded nothing like the voice I had grown up with. I didn't know what to say.

"My son, you actually came."

"Yeah, of course I would come."

"Well these last few weeks I have been thinking about how much I have wronged you. Maybe this is my punishment." I kneeled on the floor next to my father.

"No, you have never wronged me. What I did was wrong. You were trying to help me and you did. You made me come back to my senses."

"No, I will never be able to forgive myself. Had it not been for your brother, who knows where you would be right now? I cannot even bear to think about it." Just as I was about to speak, a nurse walked in with my cousin.

My cousin told me that the nurse said that we needed to let my dad rest. I wanted to stay but I had no choice. Visiting time was over.

Back in the car, my cousin looks concerned.

"You okay? What did Uncle say to you?"

"Not much, I just I am so confused right now."

"Well now I have to go pick up your brother and sister from the airport. Couldn't you idiots have just come together? But no, treating me like I'm a free taxi service."

"I'll come with you."

"It's an hour ride. You really want to come? You look like a train wreck."

"Thanks I appreciate that." He smiled,

"Any time bro."

Sitting in the car I watched the fields as we drove past. I didn't get this feeling. I could never ever describe it to other people. I just knew it was always there. Almost as if I was trapped like I was being suffocated but I didn't know by what.

"How's Oxford going? You being a good boy?" The voice of my cousin bought me back to reality.

"Of course, I'm always good." He laughed,

"Yeah of course you are. No girls then?" I stopped and thought of Amrah.

"Obviously not, that's haraam." He glanced at me,

"No, no. You hesitated. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes."

"It's nothing, honestly. She's not important." I could see him smirking,

"So there is someone?" Great, now I was going to get a lecture.

"You want me to tell Hassan."

"Do you want to attend my funeral?" He let out a snort,

"Fair enough. But I won't tell him as long as you tell me who she is." I sighed.

I proceeded to tell him about Amrah. I mean there wasn't really much to tell but he sat there silent. He was listening to me quite intently. Which I found quite weird. But then again my cousin was a strange person.

"I don't get it. What exactly is your intention towards this girl?" He looked at me in a weird way. Okay...what did he mean by that? I guess you can never really escape your past.

"I don't know. I just like her." I shrugged my shoulder and I could feel his eyes on me.

"Look if you like her then you shouldn't really be alone with this girl. Do it the right way."

"I'm never alone with her. It's always public places. And you're getting it wrong. We're not in a relationship."

"That's beside the point. Listen to me on this one."

"Jheez, tell you one thing and I end up getting a lecture." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm just looking out for you."

Yeah I knew he was but I didn't say anything. It was times like this I felt worthless. My family all seemed to love me and do so much for me despite everything I had done. I had done absolutely nothing for them yet they still stood by me and protected me. And they had no reason to. But they did. Did I deserve a family like this?