A Muslim's Past [COMPLETED]

Chapter 24

Hasnain's POV

I woke up in the morning to see a missed call from my brother.

Who calls someone at 5AM?

Sometimes I did wonder about my brother.

I made myself something to eat before I sat down to call my brother. He didn't pick up.

Well then...

A few minutes later, my phone started ringing.

"Assalaamu alaikum. Sorry I didn't pick up. I was a bit busy." His voice sounded off.

"What's wrong with your voice?" He ignored me,

"I spoke to Aminah." Oh no...What had she done?

"Err... I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. I didn't say anything and allowed him to continue.

"Maybe I was being a bit rash. I shouldn't have said those things. I wasn't thinking straight. It was just so out of the blue. And I blame myself for you not confiding in me sooner."

"Bhai, it's not that. It wasn't anything you've done to make me not tell you." I was lying through my teeth. And I knew he knew that.

"Don't try that with me. I know you and Aminah think I'm some sort of harsh dictator with no heart." Well, he was right there.

"I have been thinking about that girl and according to Aminah she thinks it's a good idea. Personally I'm not so sure. I mean I don't know her. But if this is what you want then you know I'll support you. But I want to meet her and her family first."

I was surprised.

What did Aminah say to him?

"Umm... don't kill me but like you've never changed your mind about anything before so why now?" He sighed.

"It's not my right to prevent you from marriage. It's the halal way of doing things and I shouldn't be the reason you fall into zina. I couldn't imagine my life without Hajrah and I don't want you to live alone. But Hassan, remember marriage isn't perfect. It takes time and you need to actually put in effort. You can't do what you did to Hannah to her."

As soon as he mentioned Hannah, I felt a pang of guilt. Hannah would never forgive me. How would I ever get past that? I stayed silent.

"Look. You should speak to dad. And I mean properly. You're keeping this away from them on purpose. It's not right."

"You don't get it Bhai. There is a reason. If I tell them everything, then I know they'll have a fit. They don't love me like they love you."

For some reason, Bhai started laughing,

"You have got to be kidding me right? Do you know how long it took me to convince dad?" This was news to me.

"Wait what...? That's not what it seemed like to me."

"Trust me, I assure you. I think it took almost a year." I was so confused right now.

"How is that possible? No, you're messing with me. I would know if that happened."

"No, you wouldn't have. I kept it from you and Aminah. It wasn't your place to worry about these things." I didn't even know what to say. All those years I had thought that Bhai had literally told my dad and they just allowed it to happen.

"And at the end of it, it wasn't even me. It was mum." As soon as he mentioned mum, I felt a sting in my heart. Regardless of whether or not I would get married or not, my mother would never be there at my wedding day. My mother had been so happy on my brother's nikkah and they had loved Paavi as their own daughter. Aminah and I would never get that, no matter how many people came to our weddings not a single one would be our mother. It had been so long and I couldn't get my mother's death out of head. I was the one that helped carry my mother's coffin and lay it into the ground. I saw my mother's lifeless body and no matter how much I begged and prayed that day, my mother just would not wake up. I could remember that day after so many years and it haunted me even now. Nobody would ever understand a loss of a mother and it didn't get easier no matter what people said. But you simply learn to accept that you don't control who lives and who dies. Only Allah Ta'ala does.