Tainted

Chapter 10: Apology Denied.

I slammed open the door, panting loudly. I noticed Kaz was no longer sleeping and searched through the rooms first in order to find Jax, casting Kaz aside for now.

He wasn't in any of the rooms, which slightly pissed me off.

He usually came straight home and stayed. Haha, maybe it was my fault, we usually binge-watched The Walking Dead when he came home and stayed in his room for around 10 hours.. so I guess I kinda broke the daily routine.

I gave up and sat on the couch, feeling a bit of warmth possibly left from Kaz. I hung my head, thinking about where Jax would be. No places came to mind, of course, except here.

Why would he leave?

Does he hate me now?

Has the character development all gone to waste?

I felt my head, feeling another throbbing sensation in my forehead. Why does this always happen?

Within the silence, I heard a loud crash with a follow up of a soft "Ow." I ignored it for a bit, but it soon dawned on me. I ran over to the food closet, where the noise had come from. Jaxon didn't go anywhere.. he was right here. I pulled open the closet door, revealing a kneeling Jaxon covered in raw ramen noodles.

I stood back and stared at the paused scene in front of me. The only thing stopping me from getting convinced this was another scene from a film was the constant dust ingredients of the ramen noodles slowly falling from his head, dowsing it in a soft red color.

"You should dye your hair like that." I joked, but soon regretted it, knowing this wasn't the time.

"Jin-"

I paused him with a motion from my pointer finger. I stood there, suddenly realizing I hadn't prepared anything to say.

"-I want to apologize." He continued, ignoring my signal for him to shut up.

I sighed. "There's really no need to apologize. It should be me. I overreacted when you started acting oddly, and I wasn't used to it so I ran out." I explained, heavily avoiding eye contact. I shifted in place, staring at the counter, Jaxon not even in my peripheral vision.

"Even so, I still want to apologize for spooking you and everything. It was out of character and I really regret doing whatever." He said, his words becoming less specific. I could tell he wasn't really sure what he was apologizing for.

"No, I should've accepted the fact that you are just stressed or whatever." I continued, stretching out the conversation more than I really should. I suppose that was just an excuse to talk to him properly. I looked back at him, feeling less awkward than before. He wore a sad smile.

"So we're both at fault," he replied happily.

"Jaxon, there's something I want to confirm before we put this meaningless fight behind us."

"And that is?"

"You're hiding something from me, perhaps a side of you that I don't quite know of. Is that correct?"

His eyes shot open in surprise. "I..."

"Please answer honestly," I pleaded.

"Of course not, Jin. If there's any reason why you don't believe me, please tell me. If there's any possible way for me to regain your trust, please tell me. I don't want our relationship to be awkward. That'd.. really hurt me. So, please?" He replied sadly, which caused me to pity him.

His kind and tender words sat in my mind, and I couldn't help but to trust the Jaxon I know. If there's something going on with him, I'll find out. But through his words only.

"No. I'm sorry, Jax. I guess I'm feeling a bit odd today after the whole memory thing, you know?" I laughed softly, trying to brighten the mood. He smiled at my attempts and brought me into a warm hug.

"So you forgive me?" Jax asked me.

"Of cour-"

He let me go and stared straight into my eyes, catching me off guard. "Please don't."

My mind filled with surprise. "What?"

"What if I keep showing you sides of me that keep making you uncomfortable? I mean, it's my bad side that I don't want to reveal to you. If you forgive me, then this will be all resolved. I don't want that."

"Then why'd you ask the question in the first place?"

He coughed, not really knowing either.

"I understand. If that's the case, then I don't forgive you. We cool now?"

"We never weren't," he assured, smiling brightly at me like always.

~

After, I just let Jax rest and take a shower. After all, his hair was still covered in ramen ingredients. I gotta admit, the redness of the dry ramen ingredients looked pretty good on him.

I walked back into my room, feeling accomplished with how I was able to keep it clean. I turned on the TV, accompanied by the soft and familiar flickering of the screen. Turning on Netflix, I tear off my blankets and cuddle with them. I searched for The Walking Dead and found the episode where we last left off.

I stared at the screen for a couple of more minutes until Jax entered the room. It was the first time I haven't smelled even a hint of Axe on him, which surprised me.

"Jax, you okay?" I asked, sniffing the fresh air.

"Hmm? Of course, why?"

"You're not wearing Axe."

"Oh. What are we watching?" Jax asked, avoiding the question.

I sighed. "What else?"

"I'm glad."

"Why?"

"Because nothing really changed."

"That fight was meaningless anyways. It didn't matter if it happened or not." I scrunched up my face, lying.

"I didn't think it was. I'm glad," he smiled, staring at the screen that now turned black, a logo jumping around. I waited for the logo to hit the corner, but I knew that would take 5 days to witness such a miracle.

I reached out for the remote that sat beside Jaxon, but he stopped me, making me flinch. "What is it, Jax?"

"I want to see it."

"See what?" I looked at where his gaze was fixated. The screen. "Don't tell me-"

"Yes. The long awaited logo hitting corner moment. I want to feel that moment, Jin. I need this." He replied with joy, his eyes still glued to the black screen. I pulled away, allowing him to complete his long awaited dream. I hugged my knees together and pressed my cheek against them, becoming bored.

"Are you sure this can't wait?" I asked impatiently. I closed my eyes, waiting for a response. I hadn't realized, but they soon became heavy. The last words I heard were..

"No, I can wait for this, your memories however.. I can't wait for them to come back.."

My mind blanked out slowly, as his words drifted away, quickly losing meaning.