Mute

18. Please Don't Leave Me

~ Edited 

When we arrive at Alan and Austin's place, I see daddy's tour bus parked out the front with Mike, Tony, Jaime,Austin, and Alan standing around talking. As daddy parked the car it finally hit me that I won't see daddy for almost a whole month, daddy gets out of the car and I can't control the tears that begin to fall from my eyes. Daddy opens my door looking at me, he says nothing just unbuckles me before picking me up and placing me on his hip I wrap my legs around his waist and quickly hide my face in his neck cuddling him as hard as I could wanting him as close to me as humanly possible.

" Kitten"
Daddy whispers kissing the top of my head but I don't write or say anything I can't bring myself to as more tears fall from my eyes I don't think I'm strong enough to handle Vic leaving, I feel like my heart is breaking in two I want him to stay so badly but I know he has to go and I know how much he loves his music and fans I could never take that away from him but it just sucks.

" Do you want some help with his bags"

I hear Austin say.
" Yeah thanks, Austin"
Daddy says.

" Can I help"

I hear Ally say.

" Yes you can Ally can you get Kellin's sippy cup and bring it inside with Austin"

He says gently rubbing circles on my back as I try to breathe and get a hold of myself. 

" Okay"

Ally says. I pull away from daddy trying to wipe the tears from my eyes wanting to be strong for him because I know he's hurting too.

"Let's go inside okay kitten"
Daddy says gently kissing me softly on the lips, I say nothing I just nod my head yes. Daddy walks inside and sits down on the couch and moving me so I'm now sitting on his lap looking at him, I can see how sad he is seeing me upset but it's hard to stay strong sometimes especially when the person that gives you so much strength is leaving you.

" What's wrong kitten you were happy a minute ago"

Daddy says softly wiping my tears away.

" Please don't leave me"
I write holding it up so he could see.

" I have to kitten"
Daddy says sighing he's trying to hide it but I can hear the slight crack in his voice.

" I need you"

I write before moving it so he could see.

" Kitten I love you okay"

Daddy says causing me to stop looking at him did he just say what I think he said or am I dreaming he can't of said he loves me right.

" I really do love you kitten and everything's going to be fine I promise"
Daddy says reading my mind before placing a gentle kiss on my lips I can't believe he loves me it makes my heart happy knowing he feels the same way about me that I do him but it also breaks my heart knowing this is the first time he said that to me and now he's leaving. 

" I love you too daddy so much but I still don't want you to leave me"

I write holding it up so he could see trying to hold back my tears. Daddy says nothing just pulls me into a tight hug holding me for a few moments and in those moments for the first time in my life I felt safe like there was nothing in the world that could hurt me and everything was going to be okay.

" Please stay"

I write before moving it so he could see.

" Princess time will fly by okay and if you're really good you can come and stay with me for a few days and you'll have so much fun with Austin and Alan I promise"

Daddy says I say nothing just nod my head yes. Daddy smiles at me before kissing me on the lips passionately before pulling away and placing the paci in my mouth booping it with his finger causing me to giggle.

" I love you kitten but I really have to go"

Daddy says I say nothing just shake my head no and hold onto him tightly.

" Kitten let go of me"

Daddy says and I could hear his voice breaking at the end. Suddenly I feel someone's arms around me pulling me off daddy, I turn back to see that it was Austin I tried to pull away from him but I mean I'm short and have the upper body strength of an infant so I failed miserably. 

" I have to go kitten I love you"

Daddy says kissing my lips before leaving but I could see some tears running down his cheek, as he walks away from me I start kicking and crying thrashing around trying everything I could to make Austin put me down but he wouldn't budge no matter how hard I tried.

" Come on Kells we'll watch your daddy drive off and you can wave goodbye"

Austin says before taking me outside to where everyone is getting in the tour bus, daddy turns around blowing me a kiss and waving but I could see even from far away that he was crying which made me cry even more and try to get out of Austin's grip as they drove away, Austin walked back inside and closed the door behind us before walking into the living room and placing me on his lap, by this point I was so worked up I was finding it hard to breathe, and to gain any sense of control back all I want is for Vic to come back and take me in his arms.

" Kells you need to calm down"
Austin says calmly.

" I want my daddy"

I write holding it up so he could see tears still streaming down my face trying to catch my breath.

" I know you do but you can Skype with him later on I promise"
Austin says sympathetically,  I say nothing just shake my head no I want him now. I'm finding it hard to catch my breath and my breath becomes shallow and it's making me feel dizzy and I think Austin could tell.

" Kells take a deep breath"
Austin says sternly I say nothing just do as he says feeling like I could pass out. 

" I want you to follow my breathing okay"

Austin says I say nothing just nod my head yes and follow his breathing which helps me calm down after a while.

" Are you okay"
Austin says placing me beside him on the couch, I say nothing just nod my head yes.

" Kells I know this is hard on you but I know for a fact that Vic is missing you just as much as your missing him"

Austin says encouragingly.

" You think so"

I write before moving it so he could see.

" I know so now what's this deal you have with your daddy can you tell me"

Austin says causing me to smile and nod my head yes.

" Daddy said if I'm really good that he'll think about letting me go on tour with him for a couple of days"

I write holding it up so he could see.

" That awesome Kells"

Austin says smiling at me.

" Now how about you and Ally watch some cartoons and I'll go get your sippy cup"

Austin says I say nothing just nod my head yes.

" Powerpuff girls"

Ally says looking over at me, I say nothing just nod my head yes.

" Powerpuff girls it is then"

Austin says getting up and turning it on before going to get my sippy cup and handing it to me, and that's how we spend the rest of the day watching cartoons and eating ice-cream.