No Worth

A Long Trip

~Note: These chapters are going to be a little shorter than that of my other fan-fic, solely because it is a MINI fan-fic. I'll figure out a schedule for posting, but I must warn you in saying that this story is going to be depressing, so if you can't deal with that, I would advise not reading it.~

Ashley's POV: 

Minecon was here again, which meant I was going to America. Originally I wasn't going to go, but my friends from Team Crafted insisted that I did. 

My depression has grown since last year, changing me into a person I don't want to be- although I don't really want to be a person at all. I've lost all my friends,  although I'm still not convinced they were actually there in the first place. All my life I've been ignored, and now I've finally realized why. I'm a slut, a whore, and I'm reminded of that daily. I'm useless and weak, with a weak heart to prove it. I suffer of anxiety, because i'm not meant to be with people. I'm meant to be alone, unwanted, not cared for. Alone.

But yet again, they gave me hope. Despite how much it hurt to be with him, seeing him, loving him every minute but having to push my feelings down as I have ever since we met. I knew he could never want me, I was too ugly and fat. He deserved better.

"Ashley! Come on, you have to go or you're going to miss your flight!" 

I wake up to Tara's voice, calling for me to get up. My eyes flutter open, becoming aware of my surroundings. I roll over and check the time on my phone to see it's 4:30 AM. I had to be at the airport at 5:00 AM, which was 10 minutes away. I jump out of bed, shaking the drowsiness from my body. I feel excitement, which is something I haven't felt in what feels like an eternity. 

I grab the outfit I left laying on my bed last night, a tight-fitting black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. I quickly change and grab my suitcase before running downstairs to the kitchen where my mother is waiting. I feel like I'm a little kid in elementary school as she gives me a quick breakfast and kisses me goodbye. 

"Be safe." she whispers as I hug her. I sigh into her, letting myself relax for a minute.

"I love you." she says.

"I love you too. I'll be back in a few days." I say, kissing her cheek and walking out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I get to the airport, I wait in line for my terminal. After my bag is checked, I'm searched, and I get some food, I board my plane. Surprisingly, I sit alone in my row, with no stranger to sit next to me. Excitement fills me as I wait for the plane to take off, but it is replaced by anxiety as I let dark thoughts overcome my mind.

What if they just ignore me? What if they don't actually want me there, and they were just being nice? What if they actually hate me? What if none of my fans are there, and I'm left alone, as a loser to be picked on? What if- 

I stop myself as I feel my breathing increase, making me slightly dizzy.

Calm down Ashley. You can't have an attack on the plane. Just calm down. 

I take deep breaths, and pull out my prescribed medication. After a lot of paperwork, they allowed me to take my pills with me on the plane, for instances like these. I swallow the pill, relaxing my body a bit.

This is going to be a long trip.