Luke takes me back to Victor's without speaking another word. We sneak into the house and up the stairs silently. Everyone is still where we left them, and Owen and Nathan are both asleep on the sofas. Luke quietly enters Victor's bedroom and leads me toward the door opposite to the bathroom. We step inside another room, and Luke closes the door behind me. He clicks on the light once he's sure that we won't disturb anyone and I realize that this room, that's almost as large as my bedroom at Phil's house, is actually a giant closet. Luke walks over to a part of the rack that has some light blue shirts and pulls down a long sleeved tee. He rips his dirty button-up off and my heart clenches when I see the bandage on his arm. He pulls the long-sleeve on and I look away in shame. It's because of me that he's covering up.
He reaches into a drawer and pulls out something black and tosses it to me without making eye contact.
"I'll leave so you can change," he says without inflection.
He steps around me and out the door without a backward glance. I stare at the pile of fabric in my hands and feel tears flood my eyes when I realize that it's another pair of black leggings. I quickly change into them, and then I walk over to where Luke had been standing. I open up the drawer that these came from and see that it's filled with a variety of tee shirts, most of which are light blue, and several that say "Bob's Diner" on them. In the corner, there's a small stash of leggings and I pull out a sparkly shirt that says "Muffins are just ugly cupcakes". I realize that Luke had made sure to stash some clothes for me here at Victor's, and I collapse into a sobbing heap on the floor, clutching the shirt to my chest, trying to hold together the broken pieces inside of me.
***
After an indeterminate amount of time, I pull myself together and pad my way out to the living room. I'm tired, but there's no way I'm going to be able to fall asleep right now. It's not quite four yet, and no one has made a sound since we got back. Admittedly, I really want to lock myself in the bathroom and find a release, but the memory of Luke slicing his arm open has me trying to avoid it. I'm moving quietly, but I stop when I see that both Owen and Nathan are sitting up, heads together, intense looks on both of their faces.
They appear to be arguing about something, and they cut their conversation off when they see me standing here.
"Peanut," Nathan rasps out with wide, bloodshot eyes. Owen glares at him, and I see Nathan's shoulders hunch up as though he were in pain.
I rush over and take a seat beside Nathan and place a tentative hand on his thigh. "What is it, Honey?" I ask.
Nathan's breathing gets a little shallow, and he's looking unusually pale. "I-" his voice cuts out.
Owen rises quickly to his feet and says, "I'll leave you two to talk. I'll be in the office if either of you need me."
I keep my focus on Nathan, who looks like he's on the verge of a panic attack, and squeeze his knee in reassurance as Owen gently closes the door behind him. "Whatever it is, Honey, I'm sure that it will be okay," I tell him.
He looks at me and there's a bleakness in his eyes that I've never seen before. He takes my hand in his and holds it tightly.
"Sang-" he works his throat and small beads of sweat break out along his hairline. "I've done something terrible."
Nathan's voice is barely more than a whisper at this point, and he's starting to scare me. My heart is racing and he's gripping my hand so tight that my fingertips are tingling. I lean forward, closer to him, and offer him the warmest smile I can conjure. "I'm here for you, Nathan. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out."
