Free

Part 12

   

ZISKA: It was quick. One week that is. It was the last night at the cabin, and I was having the best time. On the third day, we were so tired and sore from snowboarding all day that we stayed home, watched tv, danced crazily to a karaoke, had numerous pillow fights, laid on the couch watching movies, crying over movies, laughing so hard while eating popcorn, and it was just the best. On the fourth day, we both went hiking in the trails that had it's snow plowed. We hiked to the place with the best view near the cliff and rested there till we came back down and had a snowball fight. We were soaked and had to dry off before doing anything at home. The fifth day we decided that we would do whatever I wanted so I chose to walk around the mountain with him. It was peaceful and was different from the hike where we had an actual destination. We just walking around the trees, we saw a bunny that disappeared at sight and saw many more. The sixth day, he took me somewhere amazing. We went down the mountain halfway and went into a cave. Inside, there were tourists looking around as the cave let gleaming light in and the white ice refracted the color of the rainbows.

EVAN: One week. Tonight was going to be the last night. I smiled as I looked into the mirror. I rubbed my hair with the towel and thought about how happy and relaxed Ziska seemed. If she could smile like that forever, I wouldn't mind dying for her. I tossed the towel into the laundry bin and walked out of the restroom. I walked out the room and headed to the living room where Ziska sat in front of the tv, on the couch, next to the fire, the smell of roses filled the air, the smell of coffee scented the roses, her wet hair was pulled back, her black v-neck sweater showed her collarbone, and she ignored me, reading her book. 

ZISKA: I read the book as I was deep in thought. This week was so great, would I be able to let Evan go? When I imagined myself without him, I felt my heart hurt emotionally. When I thought about him without me, crying, lonely, I felt a need to restrain my tears. I continued to think. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to disappear. I wanted someone to be with me. I don't want to be alone. The thought of me being in the dark alone made me scared and the thought of leaving Evan's side made me shiver even more. I felt a warm hand on my cheek and I looked up, startled. Evan smiled and kneeled down in front of me.

  "Are you tired? You should go to sleep." Evan says, rubbing his thumb on her cheek. She put her hand on his cheek and  nodded her head. She flipped the book, turned the tv off, and tossed the coffee into the dishwasher before getting into bed. Evan got into bed after turning the lights off, and letting the light moonlight come into the room through the windows. She dug herself into his arms and he wrapped his arms around her body.

  "Evan?" Ziska asked slowly as Evan mumbled in response. "What do you like about me?"

  "Where's this coming from?" He asked back, his eyes closed. 

   "I was just wondering."

   "Hmmm....well I like everything about you." He says. "I don't know how to explain it. It's just there."

   "Gee thanks." Ziska laughs as he laughs too and hugs her tighter. "Evan, what would you do if I died?"

  Although Ziska could not see, Evan opened his eyes, and didn't reply for a moment. Ziska asked again and he took a deep breath.

  "You're not going to die as long as I'm here." Evan says, clearly knowing she knew that her doctor said that she might not live through the year. What Evan didn't know was that Ziska only had one month and three weeks left, with that week they spent gone.  

   "Alright let's just say that okay? But what if I died?" She asks again. 

  "Are you giving me some kind of foreshadowing?" He asks and she stays quiet. She shakes her head and he sighs. "If you died, I would definitely want to hear your last words, your last expression, your last feeling...so that I can know if you went satisfied...or scared...or alone.."

   Ziska sat up as the moonlight shined on Evan's face and Ziska's. She looked down at him as he looked up at her. She put her elbow down next to Evan's face and kissed him lightly. She smiled and her eyes glowed. 

   "If you died, I don't know how I would live without you." Ziska says as Evan looks up at her, eyes wide. He grabs her body, flips her, and laid on top of her. Her kissed her passionately and they broke it while Ziska smiles at him.

  "I left something out..." Evan says. "I don't know how I would live without you either." 

   They stayed quiet for a minute as Ziska smiled at Evan with a happy and sad heart. Evan looked at her with a sad heart. They kissed again and Evan took off his shirt quickly.

  "Evan, do you ask yourself if you want to die?" Ziska asks quietly as Evan came back down to her. "Do you?"

  "No, but I certainly don't want to die." He says with a smile and she smiles, her hand on his cheek, and another on his chest. 

  "I don't want to die either." She says back with a smile that tears Evan's heart apart. Ziska kissed him passionately as he slide his hand under her shirt.

ZISKA:  Evan. Evan. Evan. Evan. Evan.....Evan. I closed my eyes as the shirt on me was lifted and taken off me quickly. After hearing his answer, I knew my answer. How I should feel about dying. When I die, I should feel satisfied, loved, amazed at life, and happy. If I die this way, I'm sure Evan will be able to live happily without me. 

EVAN: Ziska.............I closed my eyes as I felt her mouth on mine. She put her warm hands on my bare back and my hands on her. Ziska was probably feeling scared about what the doctor said and that is why she was asking me those things. As long as I'm with her, she won't die, she'll be healthy, and she'll live with me forever. With her next to me, I'll be able to live fully, love, and be happy. We can be happy together.