The Bitten Queen ✔

First Mate

I didn't recognize my surroundings at first but after a few moments of focusing I knew where was. In Alec's bedroom more specifically in Alec's bed. Bolting upright I also noticed that he was not next to me. Slowly I relaxed and that's when I noticed the sound of water nd I knew that Alec was in the shower.

Smiling I looked around his bedroom it was so masculine, dark blue and white walls, dark blue sheets. A huge bookshelf full of books, the door to his bathroom and one to which I assume was his closet. I smiled and leaned my back against the dark cherry headboard.

A light but shrill beeping sound brought my attention to his phone next to the bed on the bedside table. I galnced at the slightly cluttered table and chuckled as I saw all the papers and the half full bottle of water but my chuckling stopped adrubtly when I saw it.

The photograph. Her photograph.

That was no doubt his first mate and she was to put it simply the most magnificent woman I have ever seen. And I mean that, she's a goddess. In every way and form. From her golden blonde hair, to her chocolate brown eyes with strips of hazel in them, to her warm smile and perfect white teeth, to the dimples, the silky smooth skin, the flawless nose and perfect eyebrows. This girl was everything I was not. She was the perfect person to stand beside someone as beautiful as Alec.

And the worst part of it all was that I-

"You're awake" Alec's voice interrupted my disastrous thoughts.

"Uh yeah I am" I nodded and I looked up at him. Gosh he was a beautiful creature with those ocean blue eyes, the razor sharp jaw, the smile, the hair his everything is so perfect.

"Lucille are you okay?" He asked gently.

"Yeah I'm fine" I am so not fine.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Completely" I am so lying to you right now.

"Listen I'm going to go" I pointed to the door.

"You don't have to" but I do.

"Yeah I do. Brush my teeth, get dressed and all that" plan on how I'm going to escape.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look upset and you smell like a hospital?  What the hell? Why do you smell like a hospital?" He asked.

Because my mother is a doctor and my parents were the main source of my unhappiness. So I am very sad right now because I know you'll never love me like how I love you.

"I'm fine" I smiled and walked to the door.

"Okay then I'll see you at breakfast?" He asked.

"Yeah" I nodded and left.

"I need to get out of here" I chanted in my head.

"Luce!" Stephy cheered as she came bounding down the hall towards me.

"Hey Steph" I smiled.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Is my brother a good cuddler?"

"Yeah- what no! We weren't cuddling. I don't like him like that" I blushed and she chuckled.

"Nice try I know you have the hots for him" she winked.

"Yeah something like that. I'll see you downstairs need a shower and all that fun stuff" 

"Right of course see you in a bit"  she nodded and I walked towards my bedroom, but walking went to running because I could feel the tears building up.

Throwing my door open the first tear fell, I pressed my door shut behind me and slid down the wall as the first tear was joined by many more. I rarely cried but when I did it was bad, snotty nose, red eyes and intense hiccups. Rubbing my nose with ny shirt sleeve I couldn't help breaking down.

He's never going to love me like how I love him.
I'll never be anything compared to her.
Fuck! Why does it have to be her?!
Why did this have to happen to me?
Why did I have to be a surviving bitten wolf?
Why did my mate have to love somebody else?
Why is my life always so messed up?
Do I not deserve to be loved?
Is that it? Don't I deserve love?

"Lucille are you still in here?" I heard Stephy.

"Yeah I'm nearly done give me ten minutes!" I called as I rushed to the bathroom.

"Okay Alec's a bit worried he said you seemed off when you left earlier"

"I'm fine Stephy honestly he's over thinking things"

"Alright if you say so" 

I sighed in relief and quickly popped in under the shower, washing my hair and my body clean. I always felt so grimy and sticky after crying for some reason. As I turned off the taps a nasty little idea forced itself into my head.

I have to tell him.

And that caused my heart to break for the second time because if I told him I could loose him. But if you love somebody then you do everything in your power to make them happy. And this will make him happy. Biting the inside of my cheek I walked over to my dresser. Took out a white jean, my grey sweater and grey vans. Quickly slipped them on and threw my wet hair into a bin on my head as I walked towards the kitchen.

Upon my arrival I saw Mason, Stephy, Alec and a few others enjoying their breakfast. At my place there stood a cup of coffee and a plate of waffles. I forced a smile onto my face and entered. Everybody looked at me as I walked in, feeling uncomfortable I buried my hands into my pockets.

"Morning everyone"

"Morning Lucille" they chimed.

Tell him. My subconscious ordered me.

"Alec can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked feebly and as if he could sense it he nodded and walked out after me. I stopped and waited for him in the lounge.

"What's your hurry?" He chuckled but when I didn't return the action his entire demeanor changed.

"Something is wrong isn't it?" He asked and u nodded my head.

"Let's sit down. Now please hear me out and don't interrupt me. Promise? "

"Okay, promise" he agreed.

"This morning when I woke up I noticed something.  A photograph of your mate"

"Lucille let's not talk about her please? She isn't here anymore you don't have to feel threatened or jealous,  okay?"

"No, it's not about that please listen"

"Lucille there's nothing to listen too and I really don't want to talk about her"

"Alec please"

"No, Lucille"

"Alec just-"

"NO! I said no and that's final Lucille I am not discussing this further!"

"Will you please just shut up and listen to me!" I shouted right back. Suddenly he had me pinned down on the couch.

"No, is no Lucille and I suggest you learn that quickly!" He snarled in my face then he was off me and out of the room.

"You promised you'd listen!" I screamed after him but to no avail he ignored me.  Walking out of the lounge I stormed into my bedroom and slammed my door shut behind me. I really really didn't like him at this moment.

But you still have to tell him. That voice sung in my head.

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