MADE-UP.

Enigma

I say
I'm easy.
I say this knowing
It has a thousand meanings
And none of which
A modest being would like to be related to.
I'm easy.
I say this as I
Throw tantrums at my mom
When she makes me drink
The milk I know I really should.
I'm easy.
I say this
As I wait for
My knight in shining armour
To waltz in on his white horse
And help me escape these
Demons I've been surviving with.
I say this as I
Rant about the custody battle
My parents have been fighting
To the guy who just needed a lay.
And sure,it takes me a hundred days
To choose this one design
I've to create for a 5 mark project
And yeah,
I Pretend to be jumping off a bridge
Because my favorite flavour of ice-cream
Is currently unavailable.

Well,maybe I'm oh so difficut
But why,love?
Because
I can't ask you to stay
When even my parents never really did.
But I really hope you do.
Because
There are times I won't
Be able to stutter three words out of me
And yet,I'd expect you to understand me
Just fine.
Because
I don't know what paths I wish
To trek To
But  I'd like you to hold my hand
And climb these terrains with me.
But ouch,
I might just desert you midway
I was never really good at holding hands
Anyway
Because
I can fake my tears as well as my smile
I can make up a hundred stories
And with me you'd never know
What's really the truth
Because I'm that
Little girl who smokes,
Not for fun
But for a shorter lifespan.
And yes I stole this line from
A novel named Alaska
Because I've been practically
Living her story too.
Deliberately.
Because
Sad endings and dramatic,
Tragic deaths
Allure me more than
A prince charming ever did.
But my,
I really,really hope
You save me.
I just want you to see me
For who I really am
But I don't really know
Much about me.

Ah but trust me,

I'm not so difficult either

the fifty shades of grey
You'll find in my sketches
Are all shades of you.
the mother
And the father
Who unloved me.
I still love them too.
the kid building
Sand castles
Makes me smile
And the old couple
At the restaurant
Makes me feel alive.
I don't expect you
To hush my cries at 2 am
I just want you spend your 2pm breaks with me
I love sitting under the stars
And watching movies in bed all day
And eating junk food too.
Proves I'm easy,no?
Though I'd rather not sit at all
And I always fall asleep during movies
And I can only eat crap so much.
I'm easy
In no way
You would know
I'm easy because
If you take a deep breath
And really  look at me
I'd be looking right back at you.
If you take care of me
I'd hold you closer than
Anyone ever did before.
If you help me escape the dark
I'd be your guiding light.
I can help you
If you save me.
But my only difficulty is that
I can't love you.
Tattooed with a cross
On my ring finger
The way to my heart's blocked.
I can't keep you safe
With strings of a miserable fate
Entangled in my very soul
I'll always bring you trouble.
Is my bare,burning soul enough to keep you warm?
Am I easy? Enough?
Do I want to be?