I Still Need You (Lauren/You)

Chapter 6

(I just want to give a very special thanks to @logicalnonsense8499 for recommending this song that inspired this chapter. You have no idea how much you helped me out with this.)

Y/n P.O.V

I want to hate her, I want to not forgive her but I can't. No matter what she will always be one of the most important people in my life. Before we dated she was my best friend for all those years, we hung out almost everyday, practically attached at the hip. She was there for me when I was feeling insecure about being intersex, she was my person. I loved her....I still love her that's why it's so hard because no matter what happens I could never hate her.

Who I really hate is myself. I let myself get to the point where I had to be sent away leaving Lauren. I was the one who wasn't strong enough that night to save my family or to stop their murderer from getting away.

No what I really feel towards her is hurt. She wasn't there for me like she promised she would be especially when that's when I needed her the most. And then she never told me she was pregnant, for three years she kept Ella from me. But like Lauren said it's in the past and as much as I would like to turn back time to be there for her in the beginning I can't.

I can't help but smile at the thought of her, to know that she's actually mine brings light to my life for the first time in forever. It makes sense why I felt such a connection to her since the first day I saw her. I can see a lot of Lauren and myself in her now that I think back, Ella looks just like me at her age. I'm going to make sure I spend everyday trying to make up for lost time starting with a late birthday present. Which is what I'm doing right now actually.

I walk into a Toys R Us and try to find the aisle that has toys toddlers would play with. Wait till I tell Vanessa I have a kid its been a few days since I talked to Lauren and I still haven't told her yet. I just hope she'll let me keep seeing Ella, not that I'll listen to her if she tells me otherwise, nothing is gonna keep me away from my daughter anymore.

Man this place is big, I guess I'm still not used to the whole freedom thing yet especially when the only places I have been is SyCo and my apartment. I walk to the center of the store and finally find what I'm looking for. Past the Legos were the toys specifically for kids aging 3 to 6 the only question now would be what to get her or what she even likes.

It feels like a half an hour I stand there tapping my foot with my finger on my chin looking at all the toys thinking about which one she would like best. Suddenly an idea came to mind and I walk around the big store until I find what I'm looking for in the ages 10+. I had thought back to the day we were playing the piano and she just looked so happy and was really enjoying it so why not get her a keyboard for kids and I can teach her how to play.

"Y/n!!!" I hear a little girl scream and hug my legs. I look down and smile when I see it's my little girl.

I place the keyboard box back on the self and pick her up so we can talk better. She's all smiles when she wraps her little arms around my neck to hug me. I return the hug, snaking my arms around her tiny frame.

I hear someone cough drawing my attention to a girl I haven't met let. She was short with blonde streaks and a warm smile. I could tell that she's a nice person already she just gives off that vibe.

"Auntie Ally dis my fwiend." Ella beams up at me. The girl walks up to me with her hand outstretched.

"Hi I'm Ally." She says her smile not leaving. I take her hand and shake it.

"I'm Y/n it's nice to meet you." I say and lower Ella back to the ground after we shake hands.

"You buy pwincess castle too?" I'm confused until I see Ally holding a large box with a picture of a castle set on it.