I Still Need You (Lauren/You)

Chapter 10

Y/N's P.O.V

Last night was liberating to say the least. I hadn't felt like that since high school when I scored the winning goal in the playoffs and our soccer team made it to finals. The adrenaline had made me feel so alive that I've come to grasp what it's actually like to not feel dead inside like I had for years. Last night I also had to say goodbye to a longtime friend and even though it was hard to see her go I know she'll always be there when I need to talk.

The tour bus is something to get used to, seeing as how I didn't get much sleep because of the constant moving. It's a weird experience, kinda like sleeping on a boat except water is more lulling than the road. It's also really lonely with it just being me and my bus driver. Lauren had asked if I wanted to be on the Fifth Harmony bus but I turned it down in fear that  I would wake them up all the time from my nightmares until they get annoyed and start to resent me.

Lauren didn't like the idea of me being alone for long hours so she came up with a compromise that I would go on their bus for a few hours or Lauren and Ella would come on my bus until it was time to sleep and then go back to our own buses. I thought it was fair enough and besides the more time I get to spend with my daughter the better. 

In about 30 minutes is the next stop where the buses refuel and whatever else they might do while they're at the gas station. Only a half an hour until I see my girls again and I have to deal with whatever craziness that will go on in that bus. 

Lauren's P.O.V

"Ella come here and eat your breakfast!" I shout so they can hear me from the back room. "You too Dinah!"

"Coming mommy." Ella says and skips into the kitchen area.

"And I thought Ally was the mom of the group." Dinah teases and takes a seat at the table with her bowl of cereal. Even though I'm an actual mom Ally is still the 'mom' to the four of us, she's definitely been a big help with raising Ella, they all have really.

After everyone finished eating we all went and did our own thing, Normani went to her bunk to watch a movie, Ally and Dinah are watching a movie in the lounge with Ella and Camila is writing music somewhere. I stayed in the kitchen and went on tumblr to pass the time until Y/n would be here. It was about 10 or 15 minutes when Ella came into the kitchen.

"Mommy?" I hear her say.

"Yes mija." I look up from my phone to see she's almost about to cry.

"Does my oder mommy not love me?" Ella  whimpers and it brakes my heart. I immediately pull her into my embrace and rub her back as she cries.

"Shh, baby of course she loves you. Would you like to see a picture of her?" Ella nods frantically while trying to dry her eyes.

I know Y/n wanted to tell Ella herself but I can't wait any longer knowing what it's doing to our daughter. Deep down I know Y/n's just afraid of being a parent and I know she doubts she could ever protect me or Ella because she wasn't able to save her family years ago. But I know all she needs is a little push to prove that everything will be fine and that's what I'm gonna do now.

I walk to my bunk and get out some of the Polaroids I always take with me on tour that consist of me and Y/n. Even though Y/n has changed a lot since these pictures were taken you can still see that it's her. I give Ella the pictures and watch as she curiously goes through them inspecting each one, she's a smart kid so I know she'll catch on.

"She's my mama?" She points to Y/n in the picture of the both of us making funny faces. 

"Mhmm and that's me." I point to myself in the same picture.