Chapter 9

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Y/n's P.O.V

Fifth Harmony's tour starts today which means I'll be singing in front of hundreds of people for the first time and I'm only now freaking out about it to the point where I haven't slept at all yet. This is where the anxiety kicks in and I start to think about all the what ifs. I personally think I'm not ready for something like this considering a few months ago I was in a mental hospital singing to a maximum of 40 people, half of whom weren't all there, but for some reason Simon has faith in me.

As for Lauren and I we've kept things at a snails pace. I've been over for a few more dinners getting to know the girls more and spending time with just Ella and Lauren here and there just so I don't feel overwhelmed at how fast my life is changing. I still haven't told Ella she's my daughter but I'm planing to soon I just don't know how to bring it up honestly. Would I just be like, 'Oh that's a cute stuffed animal you have by the way I'm your other mom'.

Okay maybe not like that, I'm just thinking into this too much she is only three.

That's not what I should be thinking about right now, I shouldn't be thinking at all, I need to sleep it's already one in the mourning. I don't understand why I'm still up when I took my sleeping pills. C'mon brain just stop and go to sleep.

After some time of me arguing with myself I give up and try the one person who used to always comfort me, I just hope she's up already and I don't wake her.

Me:
Hey are you up?

Almost immediately I got a reply.

Lauren:
Yeah is there something wrong?

Me:
I'm fine

I was waiting for her response when all of a sudden I see Lauren trying to face time me. I accept it and see her lying in bed with a worried look on her face. I take the time to study the little changes from when she was 15. She looks like the same beautiful girl I fell in love with but now she has black hair, a nose ring she had always wanted and her face is more matured.

"Hey I'm sorry if I woke you." Lauren smiles tiredly and repositions her head on her pillow.

"No I was up already cause of this one right here." She moves her phone to show a sleeping Ella cuddled up to Lauren's chest. The sight warms my heart and makes me wish I were right there with them.

"Why was she up?"

"She had a nightmare and wanted to sleep in my bed." Lauren leans down to kiss Ella's head. "She doesn't get them often if that's what you're thinking."

I laugh a little and lay my head on my arm, "Still good at reading me I see." She smiles and nods her head.

"So what's your excuse." She asks referring to why I'm up.

"Little bit of everything I guess, anxiety about messing up, nervous about singing in front of so many people, some excitement in there I guess. I took my sleeping pills but they seem to not be working." I glance at the clock to see it's almost two.

"One, you're gonna be amazing don't even try to second guess yourself. Two, do you need me to come over to help you sleep?"

"No you need to be there when Ella wakes up."

"Are you sure cause I could just get one of the girls to-"

"It's fine Laur," I give her a reassuring smile. "Can you just stay on the phone til I fall asleep?" She bites her lip and smiles, probably remembering all the times I asked her to do the same thing years ago.

"I'll stay as long as you want."

"What if that meant forever?" I ask softly.

"Especially forever." She gives me a loving smile.

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