30-Day Letter Challenge

Day 5: Your dreams

Dear Dreams,

This is kind of a weird letter to be writing. I don't exactly know how to go about writing this. How does one write a letter to his/her subconscious? How does one write a letter to something as intangiable and changeable as his/her own dreams?

This letter really depends on the definition of dreams that I choose. If I assume that 'dreams' means the creations of my subconscious while I'm asleep then that's one thing. However, I could also take 'dreams' to mean my aspirations and hopes for the future. In an effort to keep this as meaningful as possible, I'll go with the latter.

Its funny- I've realized that when people ask what our dreams or aspirations are, we often respond with such superficial things like 'I want to be rich' or 'I want to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.' Those are the dreams that immediately come to mind. I suppose that could be seen as a reflection of the proverbial 'American Dream' to beomce a self-made man (or woman) and rise from rags to riches. But why is it that we place such an emphasis on wealth? Why is it that we are so fixated on the lifestyles of the rich and famous? It seems that in today's society, more and more people are coming to the conclusion that if we are rich, all our problems will be solved.

That is most certainly not the case. I know plenty of people who are wealthy enough and seem to be miserable. Have we forgotten that money can't buy happiness? What happened to the innocent childhood dreams of someday becoming a superhero? What about the little girls who wanted to be vets so that they could help animals? Those pure dreams have been corrupted by the desire and want for monetary gain. Now if someone wants to become a doctor, its so that they can earn a large salary. That is not to say that there are not people who genuinely want to help people in their career as a doctor, though.I just find it a bit disturbing how even as high school students, we are so driven by the incentive of  becoming rich.

After finishing the classic American novel 'The Great Gatsby,' my honors english class had a discussion about our dreams for the future. This may have been naive of me, but I hoped that my classmates would actually have some meaning to their dreams. I prayed that someone would say that their dream is to work with disabled children or set up a non-profit orginization to bring relief to starving families around the world. Of course, that was not the case. Most responses were along the lines of 'I want to be a lawyer for a famous law firm' or 'I want to be a famous fashion designer.' All their dreams seemed to focus on one central thing- monetary gain. Despite the fact that we had just read a cautionary tale, depiciting the lives of some of the wealthiest people in America during the 1920's, my classmates had not changed their views at all. They had learned nothing from Gatsby's tragic end. How could they not realize that in the end, Gatsby could but everything but the one thing he really wanted? It took all my strength not to point this out to all of them.

I suppose that it is easy to analyze a novel and write an essay about the fatal flaws of characters. It is easy to find the author's message. What is difficult, is realizing that in many cases, the very message the author is trying to convey can be applied to our own lives. My classmates are very bright when it comes to analyzing themes and symbols, but we apparently lack the ability to put novels in context with our own lives. I say 'our lives' because I too have fallen prey to the same ignorance. I used to have the mentality that the novels we read in class were just a way of taking up time and couldn't possibly have any effect on my own life. It took me 17 years of life to realize how wrong I was. 'The Great Gatsby' made me realize that I had been ignorant.

Thanks to my realization, I did some serious thinking about what my 'dreams' for the future really are. On the day of the discussion, I was the only person who said that my dream was simply to be happy with my life. The success of my dream doesn't depend on earning a large salary. It is a relatively simple concept, but at the same time, it is ridiculously complex. What is happiness, exactly? How can I know that I have successfully achieved this dream? In an effort to make those questions easier to answer, I have changed my dream. I simply want to be able to wake up in the morning and be geniunely happy to be waking up. I want to be able to look forward to each new day, instead of dreading the moment that I have to wake up and face reality. All I want in life is to be able to live it- I want to feel content with my decisions. I want to have a job that I genuinely love. Money doesn't matter to me. I could be volunteering in Africa for years, not earning a penny, but as long as I enjoy what I'm doing, I will be happy.

I got some confused glances. Coming from a wealthy community where everyone absolutely needs to have the newest Coach purse or Marc Jacobs tote, my classmates seemed unable to understand why I did not want to have some kind of high-profile, high-paid job. I didn't even bother explaining my reasoning. I had to come to this realization on my own and me telling them my rationale would not make them understand me. This is something that they need to discover on their own.

I think the most satisfying moment, though, was when I was just about to walk out of the classroom. My teacher came over to me and pulled me into a hug. She then told me 'you're the first person to understand 'Gatsby.'' I couldn't stop smiling.

~Kat