Stay Strong (Alec Lightwood)

Chapter 5

Back to Charlotte's POV

Charlotte had no idea where to go.  She wandered around the city aimlessly for hours, tears running down her face as she examined the mundane world.  The world she would have to live in.

A hand grabbed her shoulder, and she found herself crying harder at the familiar touch.  "Go away," she said through her tears without turning to face Alec.  "I'm begging you, please go away."

He didn't say anything, and his hand slowly slid from her shoulder down her arm, until he reached her hand.  He put his other and on her side to turn her around to face him.

She cried harder when she saw his hurt expression.  The sadness in his eyes, the redness around his eyes, it was the worst thing she'd ever seen.

"Please come back," he said quietly.  "I can't do this without you.  I'm begging you, please."  His eyes shone with tears ready to fall.

"I can't," she whispered as she looked at her feet.  "I don't belong there.  You know that. I-I'm just a mundane."  She removed her hand from his and grabbed his arm.  "I'm not one of you anymore," she whispered as she traced her finger over one of his runes.  "There's so many things there that could kill me just by stepping on them."

"Then I'll carry you."

"Things that could kill me with a single touch."

"Then I'll keep them away from you."

"There's Downworlders that can't keep themselves from killing me."

"Then I'll protect you.  I can't do this without you.  I lost my parabatai, I lost my son, I lost my birthright, I refuse to lose you too."

She gave him a sad smile and looked up at him.  "You won't lose me, because I'll always be right here," she said as she removed her hand from his wrist and pointed to his heart. 

"Charlotte-"

She cut him off by saying "come with me."  She led him out of the main area and to a space between a couple buildings.  "Take out your stele."

He did as she said.  "Charlotte, you can't touch it."

She reached for the buttons of his shirt.  "But I can touch you, and you can touch it."  She undid the first couple buttons of his shirt, then felt for his heartbeat.  "Put it right here."  He did as she said, and she placed her hand on his and ran his hand over the skin until the rune was finished.  The love rune sat on his chest, atop his heart.  "I'm right there," she said while redoing the buttons.

"A rune can't do what you do," he said quietly.  "A rune can't calm me down when I'm stressed.  A rune can't tell me everything's gonna be okay, or try to help me find our son.  A rune can't fill the hole I have in my heart when you're not there."

"We live in two separate worlds now, Alec."  She reached one of her hands up to cup his cheek, and she looked into his eyes.  "I understand it hurts.  This is one of the hardest things I've ever done.  But for now, you need to let me go.  Search for your parabatai, fight off Valentine.  I'll be here waiting when you're done."

He looked at her for a moment before speaking.  "What if I don't make it?"

"Don't talk like that-"

"Well we have to face it."  The tears in his eyes fell and left wet lines on his face.  "This is a dangerous fight that I might not survive.  I want to spend time with my wife before I go, if I do end up dying."

"I'm not your wife anymore, Alec."

"In my heart you are.  You'll always be.  Mundane, Downworlder, Shadowhunter, I don't care.  You're Charlotte Lightwood.  You're my wife, you're the best Shadowhunter in the world, you're my sister's parabatai.  Nothing will ever change that."

She bit her lip and shook her head.  "You're making this so much harder than it has to be."

"I refuse to lose you without a fight."  He cupped her face with his hands and quickly brought it to his, and connected his lips with hers.  He held onto her tightly as their lips moved and tears fell out of both of their eyes.  He didn't know what else he could say to convince her to stay with him, so he kissed her again after. 

"Alec," she said, disrupting the second kiss.  "You need to focus on being a Shadowhunter."

"And I will.  If you come with me."

"Aldertree won't let me-"

"I don't give a shit about Aldertree.  He'll live with it."

"I don't belong there, I'm not a Shadowhunter."

"Neither is Simon, but he's there all the time.  And Luke, and Magnus comes every once in a while.  I'm not taking no for an answer."

She sighed and rolled her brown eyes.  "Fine.  Only because I don't see any other options to get you to do your job."

He gently wiped her tears from her face, then ran his sleeve over his own face to get rid of his tears.  "Let's go."

They walked back to the Institute silently, hand-in-hand.