Stay Strong (Alec Lightwood)

Chapter 6

Charlotte immediately went to her and Alec's old room when they got back to the Institute.  She wanted to stay away from everything that coud hurt her - especially the disappointed face of her beloved ex-parabatai.  She already had to face Alec, which was hard enough.  She didn't want to go back to the Institute, she was always so strict with the no Mundanes in the Instute rule, for their safety.  But she was the Mundane in the Institute. 

She missed her runes.  She missed being helpful in the fight against Valentine.  She missed everything about her old life.  The gaping hole she felt in her chest was a constant reminder of the life she lost.  She wasn't ever anything except a Shadowhunter.  It was her identity, and it was gone.

When she heard the door open, she immediately turned so she was facing the wall.  Whoever it was, she couldn't bring herself to face them.  It would just be another reminder of the life she had lost. 

"Charlotte."  The voice didn't belong to Alec or Izzy.  It was Clary.  "Are you okay?"

She knew that she should have given the generic yeah, I'm just tired excuse, but she couldn't bring herself to lie.  "No," she said quietly, though she didn't turn to face the redhead.  "I'm not okay."

She heard the door close, and footsteps approached her.  "Charlotte, it's okay to be upset.  I understand what you're going through-"

"What you went through was completely different," she said angrily.  Clary had extraordinary things added to her already great life.  Charlotte lost everything.

"Not really."  She went around Charlotte, so she was facing her.  "I lost my house.  I lost one of my best friends.  My best friend is a vampire.  I lost Jace. I-"

"I lost my entire life!  All that's left of me is this meaningless soul inside of my body!  A Shadowhunter was everything I ever was, and all I'd ever be.  I lost my husband, my parabatai, my entire family, and my son!  At least you can still see Simon, I can't see Fred!  He's a vampire, too!  You don't even realize how lucky you are to be in your position!  I'd kill to have my mother, and great friends like Simon.  No matter what happens, he will stand by you!  I can hardly look at the Lightwoods without wanting to cry!"  Her vision clouded with tears, and her hands balled into fists.  "You really don't see how lucky you are," she choked out before breaking out into sobs. 

Clary hugged her, and she sobbed into her shoulder.  "Alec still loves you.  Izzy still loves you."

"For now," she said quietly.  "They'll get bored of a mundane.  I can't help anyone."

"That isn't true.  You can do so much.  You can take normal weapons, you're still so skilled.  You can help."

"Normal weapons will do nothing,"  she said quietly.  

Clary sighed.  "Look, I had to be taught how to be a Shadowhunter.  It was very difficult, but I had very experienced teachers: You and Izzy and Jace and Alec.  So, I'm going to return the favor.  I'm going to teach you how to live like a Mundane."

Charlotte sighed.  "I really don't think that's a good idea."

"We start in the morning so get a good night's rest," she said with a smile.  "We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

--

When Charlotte woke up, she felt a strong arm around her waist.  She vaguely recognized it as Alec's and rolled over to see his face, eyes closed, snoring slightly.  She smiled to herself and slowly attempted to slip out of his arms, but his grip on her tightened.  "You're not asleep, are you?"

He smiled and opened his eyes, ceasing his very convincing sleep act.  "Morning beautiful."

She rolled her eyes.  "Bite me."  She sat up, reached into her nightstand, and pulled out her black plastic hairbrush.  "What's on your agenda for today?"  She began to drag the brush through her hair.

"I was going to ask you the same thing."  He sat up and stretched out his arms.  

"Clary wants to teach me how to be a mundane."

He chuckled.  "Well there go my plans for the day, I was going to do mundane things with you so you'd at least try to enjoy the experience."

She laughed but shook her head before putting the brush back in its place.  "We can do that tomorrow, if you want."

"How about tonight?  We'll go out on a mundane date, like our first one."

She smiled and nodded.  "I'd like that a lot."  She leaned over to him and kissed his cheek before standing up.  "Now, I have to go get dressed, Clary said I've got a long day ahead of me."  She went over to her closet and quickly grabbed a casual outfit before heading to the bathroom.  She showered, got changed, took care of her personal hygiene, then went out to the Institute lobby to wait for Clary.

"Charlotte..."  Isabelle's voice came from behind the ex-shadowhunter, and she turned to face her ex-parabatai.  "Alec told me you got-"

"De-runed," she said, finishing the sentence.  "Yeah, I did."

"How could they do this to you?  You're the strongest Shadowhunter of this generation!"

She shrugged.  "It is what it is."

"I thought you'd be a little more upset about it, honestly...  I thought you'd fight for who you are."

Charlotte looked down and shook her head.  "No, no I'm done fighting.  I know I won't win a battle against the Clave.  I'm not going to fight a fight I know I can't win."  She put her head in her hands.  "I've come to terms with it.  I've come to terms with the fact that Alec and I won't be married again, because a mundane wedding means nothing to either of us.  I've come to terms that you and I will only be best friends, we won't be sisters or parabatai or anything like that. I'm living in a totally separate world than the rest of you now, and I've come to terms with that."

"Charlotte, you know that isn't true-"

"Izzy, I'm okay with it."  She put her hands on her best friend's shoulders.  "I'm fine.  You focus on fighting Valentine, and I'll do whatever I can as a mundane to help."

Isabelle sighed.  "I'll find something for you to do, okay?"

"Nuh-uh, no Shadowhunting for Charlotte."  Clary spoke from behind the pair of ex-parabatai, both of which turned to face her.  "Charlotte is going to live a normal, mundane life."

"I can do both," Charlotte said.  "I'll find a way."

Clary smiled at her.  "Okay.  Shall we go?"

She nodded and followed the redhead out of the Institute.