Holy Crap I'm Sasuke!

Wake Up

"Uggghhhh.... the fuck did I do last night? I feel like I got hit by a car." I opened my eyes, still groggy I sat up and looked around. Nice wooden floor, white and grey walls, black tile ceiling. "Whose house is this?"

I stood, looking around and quickly finding a bathroom. As I walked in I caught sight of myself in the mirror and froze. Black hair, black eyes, pale, probably like twelve years old! EMOOOO!!!

"Holy hell! What in the name of Scarlett Johansson's perfect tits is going on?" I looked like Sasuke, and even sounded like Sasuke...but I couldn't be Sasuke, right? Right? Shit, I know the answer and it rhymes with nes? Jes? Cres? Fuck it, I give up finding a word to rhyme, right now I got bigger things to worry about...

I opened up the closet door, finding several different outfits other than the white shorts and absurdly high collar. I pulled on a pair of dark blue ninja slacks, finding that they were extremely comfortable and they didn't tense on me no matter how far I stretched....kinda like loose fitting stretchy pants. I picked up a black long sleeved shirt, made of similar material. It had the Uchiha crest on the left bicep. I picked up Sasuke's, now mine I guess, ninja sandals and cursed. "Where are the toes on these damn things?"

I sighed as I pulled them on anyway. "First thing's first. What part of the series am i on?"

As I got to thinking, I clearly remembered Naruto failing the exam, while I was in class...not watching it. "So today is team placements... should be interesting. Maybe I'll get to completely fuck the timeline?"

I shrugged, then headed out the door.

Traversing Konoha was weird to say the least. I had the same knowledge and skills Sasuke had, including the layout of Konoha.

I passed a weapons shop on the way to the Academy and decided to take a look, couldn't hurt right?

There were all forms of ninja weapons. Kunai, shuriken, ninja wire, paper bombs, smoke bombs, and then melee weapons and long range weapons. My ninja pouch was full of kunai and shuriken so I passed those by. I grabbed a set of ten paper bombs, ninja wire, and a smoke bomb.

I turned down the first aisle, finding it was full of swords. Finding a very cool looking katana. It was black with blue on the handle. The blade was made of extremely expensive hardened chakra conducting metal. I snatched it up instantly, finding it only weighed around two pounds or so. Then I found a combat dagger, not a kunai but a big ass combat dagger. Just as I was about to pay the girl behind the counter stopped me. "Sasuke Uchiha, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah?"

"I'm Tenten, wanna see something cool?"

I shrugged. "Sure?"

She grinned and pulled a lage black metal bow from behind the counter. "Most ninja don't use them, preferring traditional stuff like kunai or ninjutsu, but they're incredibly effective. Anyway, I was thinking...you have the sharingan, or will one day, that means you'll have an edge over anyone who doesn't. The visual abilities would do really well for a long ranged weapon like this too! It's on sale for 40,000 yen including a dozen arrows. Want it?"

I nodded. She was right, and it'd look bad ass!

"Let's see... you're totally is 115,000 yen for everything. Oh, I've also got some seal bracelets. I'll give you one on the house. It'll hold the bow on the outside seal, and the arrows on the inside seal." I nodded and spotted a pair of black fingerless gloves with metal on the knuckles.  "I'll take those too."

"Promise to come back anytime you want weapons and you can have 'em." She smiled happily tossing them to me. I slipped on the bracelet and gloves, attached the katana to my right side, and the dagger on my back, sticking up at my right shoulder so it was easily accessible.

I left with a smirk, feeling completely bad ass.

When I walked into the Academy I saw girls with actual fucking hearts in their eyes,insane right?

I walked into class, hearing Iruka talking. "Team seven will be Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto stood, demanding to know why he had to be on the same team as me. He quickly got put into his feelings, courtesy Iruka Umino.

I sat down next to Naruto, handing him the smoke bomb and half of the paper bombs I'd bought. "Happy belated birthday, Naruto." Needless to say, the look he gave me was one of utter mind fuck.

"....thanks?" He turned to look straight ahead and didn't say anything for like an hour and a half.

I stood. "This ass hole will be here in half an hour. What do you say we make him regret it?"

"Sounds good, but how? Wanna put an eraser on top of the door?" Naruto asked.

Sakura was torn between telling us to stop and being quite to gain brownie points with me.

I crossed my arms. "Maybe..." I thought about using paperbacks, but didn't wanna blow the room up... Absolute Jihad and all that...

We settled for the eraser, with a bucket of water over the door as well for good measure.

I sat down and crossed my arms, staring at the door, waiting for the hilarity to unfold.

"Hey guys, nice trap ya got there." I fucking froze.

I turned to find Kakashi Hatake sitting directly behind me.

My eyes were wide as saucers. The deviation was already apparent. In the anime he had let the eraser hit him, maybe he didn't feel like doing the same with a bucket? "Crap baskets..."

"Right you are. Roof top, two minutes." Then he vanished, as we all scrambled to run out of the room and up the stairs.

__________________________

"Alright my cute little genin. Why don't we get to know each other a bit?" Kakashi asked as we sat down on the steps on top of the roof.

"Could you go first, Sensei? To show us how it's done?" Sakura asked.

"My name is Kakashi Hatake, I like things, I dislike things, as far as dreams....never really thought about it." Kakashi said jovial lyrics as I smirked.

"Meaning you like reading porn and staring at the memorial stone, you dislike people who disregard teamwork, and your dream is to star in the Icha Icha movie." The look he gave me was a combination of surprise, confusion, anger, and embarrassment. Oh I love a good mind fuck.

"Alright duck butt. Your turn." He pointed at me.

I sighed. "Sasuke Uchiha. I like my new weapons, I dislike that my brother decided to go all murdery on our family, and my dream is to be the strongest Uchiha to ever live, and see Tsunade Senju's boobs just once."

Kakashi nodded. "Admirable dream. I think I'll add that to my dream too."

Sakura was as pink as her hair when he pointed at her. "Alright pinky."

She looked down at her lap. "I'm Sakura Haruno. I like...I mean the boy I like...um... my dream is to start a family some day..."

"What are your dislikes?" Kakashi asked.

I butted in, knowing the answer. "If you say Naruto, I will never ever even consider the possibility of dating you." I glared at her, pushing my point home.

She nodded. "Ino-pig..."

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I like training and Ramen! I dislike the time it takes to cook Ramen, and my dream is to be hokage!"

"Great! A smart ass emo, a fan girl, and an idiot. Be at training ground seven at eight in the morning for the bell test. Don't eat breakfast, you'll only puke." Kakashi eye smiled and vanished.

(Guys lemme know if this is something yall would like to read. I based the idea off of Naruto: What if, a fanfic with a very similar start. I totally recommend reading it btw it's amazing. I haven't read it in a while and I saw it the other day and decided to tinker with the idea. It won't follow canon or his story because I'd like to be able to surprise you guys:D anyway totally let me know.)

Ps: I haven't forgotten my other story I started yesterday, but I'm stuck halfway through a chapter. I might scrap that chapter and try again bc I don't like the way it turned out.