Holy Crap I'm Sasuke!

Barry ain't shit

(If you understand the name of the chapter, you're awesome:D)

The next day I slept in, took my time getting ready, stopped by a store and bought some eggs and bread, and was still at the training ground at nine.

I waved to my annoyed looking teammates. "Guys, yesterday was a clue. He's never gonna get here on time. Did either of you eat?"

I got 'no' from both of them. "Alright, gimme a minute..." in a matter of minutes I had a pan sitting over a bunch of sticks.

I did the handle also for the Fireball, amazing myself at how easily it came, and used a very toned down version of said Fireball to light a fire. I cracked the eggs over the pan and used a new kunai to scramble an egg at a time and put it on a piece of bread. "Alright, come here. It ain't great but it's better than taking a test without energy because you missed breakfast and lunch." Naruto picked up his egg toast and immediately began chowing down.

Through his chewing I could hear something kinda sorta like a thank you.

Sakura hesitated, probably uncomfortable eating in front of me.

"Sakura-chan... I made this meal for you, won't you eat? Please?" Okay, I'll admit. I laid it on a little thick, but it got the desired effect.

Sakura began to eat, it was delicate but she was eating. "Thank you, Sasuke-kun... but...what about you?"

I grinned. "Nah, I stopped and had Ramen on the way here." Naruto stopped eating, pointed, and said in the calmest of voices.

"Don't tease me about ramen, Uchiha." Then the blonde got right back to eating. Well then, that wasn't uber fucking weird.

"It seems my cute little genin have decided to be a bit rebellious. Maybe I should fail you all outright?" Kakashi was squatted on a tree branch just above us, eye smiling like he did in the anime.

Sakura spoke first. "I tried to tell them, Sensei, but Naruto-baka insisted that we eat, so Sasuke-kun cooked something!"

Fucking really?!?! Snitching, lying, manipulating... if it wasn't against the knucklehead who's got a crush on her I might be on board.

"Actually Kakashi, it was me. I brought the food and cooked it, don't listen to Pinky. If you wanna punish anyone, then pick me. Though technically you didn't forbid eating, only suggested it." I said aloud.

Naruto crossed his arms. "I'm not letting you hog all the blame! I ate too, Kakashi-sensei! You can't punish him without punishing me too!"

Sakura, probably not wanting to get me in trouble. "Naruto-baka is right.... I ate too, sorry Kakashi-sensei. " She looked down sadly.

I inwardly smirked. We haven't even fought him and we are showing teamwork already, ohhh this shit's gonna have nuts in it.

If Kakashi was impressed, he didn't show it. Fucking insane, considering how canon went, yeah?

"Yes, well. I'll let it slide this time." Kakashi smiled as he pulled two bells from his pocket.

Time for some mind rape. "Oh look, the fabled bell test. The test designed by the fourth hokage. You tell your students that they have to get a bell in order to pass, but only have two bells. That would mean one person fails and that two genin would form a two man team under their jonin sensei. Luckily, that's just a very stupid lie. The trick is teamwork. All or none of us will pass." The looks they gave me were totally worth sounding like a nerd.

Kakashi looked comfused (maybe? Hard to tell with the damn mask...) "Impressive deduction. What makes you think I won't go through with it though?"