Hating Archer [WATTY'S 2017]

Chapter Twelve- Parents

[NOT EDITED]

I groaned loudly as my Dad continuously hummed the annoying song of this stupid commercial about some kind of disgusting cheese. He had been humming it since he got home and he was now starting to get on my nerves.

“Dad, you already suck at humming, you're even getting the tune wrong,” I said and he rolled his eyes at me, waving me off. “Dad, for the sake of my eardrums, please, shut up.”

Dad shot me a skeptical look and crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, if you're allowed to make it storm using your awful voice, then I can burst your eardrums too,” he grinned, turned around, filled a glass with cold water, and turned around, shooting me his most innocent smile. “Would you like to apply some cold water to that burn?”

I scoffed. “Your ‘burn’ was lame, Dad.”

He placed the glass in front of me and rested his elbows on the counter, leaning on it. “Now, that's exactly what someone who thinks he's hot shot would say. I'd like to see you come up with a better comeback,” he said with a serious face, but it soon turned into a grin. “But clearly you don't have the brains for it.”

I gasped and glared at him. “Don't make me tell Mom about you spilling Curry on her favorite dress.”

Dad stared at me for a while. “Two hamburgers, two button up shirts, and a future permission,”

I watched him carefully with squinted eyes. “Deal.”

“Yes!” he cheered in a low voice. “What are you staring at with your ugly big eyes? Hop in the car, you little idiot!” he grinned and I cheered happily as we walked out of the house. “Wait, shit! I forgot to tell your Mom. Wait here, I'll be back in a few.” he said and threw the car keys at me, making me catch them.

He walked back into the house and I walked to the car and unlocked it. I breathed out and closed my eyes.

“Are you going to go all drama again?” I heard a voice and I opened my eyes, only to see my Dad standing there with a raised eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes, “After saying that, you better add a pizza on the list,” I smirked at as his expression turned into a glare.

“No,” he said and I raised both of my eyebrows. “What? You're already getting enough, you filthy animal. Get in the car.”

I giggled and we both hopped in the car. Dad pulled out of the garage and we were soon on the road to buy Mom's groceries and my food. I smiled as I looked at Dad then out of the window. I was enjoying the breeze, but groaned in annoyance when the windows were rolled up.

“It's too hot,” Dad said, turning on the AC.

“But, Papa, I was enjoying the breeze,” I whined like a toddler.

Dad scoffed. “As if I care.”

I didn't say anything. I just crossed my arms over my chest and looked out the window that my vicious father had closed. I sighed to myself and smiled. Even though he wasn't my real father, he had always been there for me. He took care of me, knowing that I would be too much to handle, but he did it. He helped me so much, I owed my life to him.

“Okay, if it was a small smile, I wouldn't say anything, but that huge ass grin is scaring me,” he shot me a quick glance.

I was silent for a while as I watched him. “What were they like?”

He looked at me for a few seconds before looking back at the road. “They were amazing, honestly. Your father was my best friend after all...”

“How were you so calm about it?” I asked, looking at my hands.

“If I freaked out, who would keep you calm? Sure, losing your best friend hurts a lot, but you saw everything happen with your own eyes.” he breathed out.

“Thank you... Really...” I placed my hand on his and he smiled at me.

“You're my daughter now, so I will protect you, no matter what.” he looked at me before taking a left turn and stopping in front of the store. “Now, hop out kiddo, we gotta get your Mom her grocery before she runs after me like she does with Jake,” he chuckled.

I shook my head at him and got out of the car. Dad locked the car and I followed him into the store. The cold air hit my face as I looked at the people rushing around. Why did Mom have to send us here on such a busy day?

Dad and I both looked at each other with a somewhat tired expression and started getting everything Mom wanted. As we walked towards the counter, a man bumped into my father and he swore as his avocados fell on the floor. In a situation like that, someone in my position would either help out or walk away, but not me. I just stood there, wondering why fuck this guy was buying so many avocados. He was the kind of guy you heard about in math problems.

George buys 300 avocados and pays $375 for it. What is the price of one avocado?

Why am I like this?

Why?

We kneeled down and helped him pick up everything when all of a sudden we noticed another pair of arms. I looked up to see who the fourth person was and to my surprise it was Archer. Dad looked up and his jaw hung open, which confused me a little.

“You son of a bitch...” my Dad swore and my eyes grew wide. He wasn't going to start an argument right in the middle of the store, right?

The man looked up at him with an angry expression, but that soon turned into wide eyes. What was even going on?

“Hugo! You're still alive!” he said happily.

My eyes grew wide when my Dad jumped on this man and they both fell to the floor, hugging like maniacs. Of course, people gave us weird looks and I cringed when I realized they fell on the avocados. I mentally started planning on ways to make people believe that I do not know the man who is actually my father.

I stood up and waited for their little moment to be over. Once they hugged their emotions out, they stood up, panting. Dad grinned and so did this man. Dad looked at me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Tris, this is my childhood friend, Gatson! Him, your Dad, and I used to be best friends. Heck, we're still best friends!”

Gatson pointed at me with a surprised look. “She's Peter's daughter?” he asked and my Dad nodded. Suddenly I was pulled into a hug and I awkwardly hugged back. “You were just a baby when I saw you for the last time.” he pulled away.

I smiled weakly and shot him a slight nod, “It's nice to meet you.”

He just grinned at me and gave my shoulder a light pat before looking at my Dad, “It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Why don't ya come over and we'll have a nice dinner, drink some beers, and catch up, aye?”

“That's awesome. We'll be there.” he said and my eyes once again grew wide.

Archer and I looked at each other and scowled. Fantastic, now I had to waste my entire Sunday on Archer the jerk.

Just fan-fucking-tastic.