dear draco,

twelve

The news that Draco Malfoy is dating a Gryffindor spreads like wildfire. Students from all years and houses, students that I have never even spoken to, pay newfound attention to me. Wherever I go, people stare, whisper, and even point – to the extent that it seems ridiculous; all I did was kiss a boy.

Because if there is one person that Gryffindor house hate as a whole, it's Draco Malfoy. If there is one person, out of all the potential students, with whom Gryffindors should probably not mix, it's Draco Malfoy.

Side note: mix, in this case, encompasses all to do with socialising – no mixing means no talking with, no laughing with, no hanging out with. And definitely no kissing.

It brings out the fickleness in people – how little they really care for me, should I do something so very traitorous (yet really, so minor, in the grand scheme of things). My friendships with people and their opinions of me are toppled by their strong hatred for a person I kissed. Now, I can't even walk down the common room stairs without earning at least one dirty look from a classmate. Their entire view of me changed, based on one person in my life.

Some of them, however, seem to think that maybe they're wise enough to change my mind. Maybe, I'm going through a rough patch or something and don't realise what I'm doing. I get many offers of advice and apparent wisdom, like, "It's not too late!" and "Realise what you're doing!". Incidentally, there is a lot said about Draco's family, rather than his actual self.

But what they don't tell me is this:

That falling in love is a lot like getting drunk.

They don't tell me that his laugh will radiate through my veins, and his kisses will leave me light headed, and his touch will make me giddy. That simply being with him will make me inexplicably spontaneous and happy and alive. They don't tell me that I will be irrational and make unreasonable decisions, and stay up all night thinking because my dreams are no longer better than my reality.

That in the end, I will be so terribly dizzy that I won't remember what it's like to be sober.

They don't tell me that I will forget everything when I'm with him. That I wouldn't ever have known this blissful, blurry euphoria if Draco Malfoy wasn't so terribly intoxicating.

I close my eyes in bliss as he pushes my hair away from my face and plants a kiss on my forehead. If I opened them, I would be looking at not only him, but the most wonderful view of the Hogwarts grounds and the forest, lake and hills beyond it. Either way works for me. We are sitting against a wall on the Astronomy Tower, as Draco seems to have a thing for seclusion and great views. Other people sneak up here sometimes at night, but when it's daytime, we have the whole place to ourselves.

"What time is it?"

"Just gone eight," he says, watching me carefully. "Why?"

"I have to go-" I pause. I keep forgetting that not everyone I am close to is in the DA, and Draco in particular is not allowed to even know that it exists.

"Go where?" he says curiously. I have disappeared on Draco multiple times without being able to tell him that I'm going to a DA meeting. "Where do you keep running off to?"

I shake my head and look away. "Sorry," I say. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because you're on the Inquisitorial Squad, Draco, and I know Umbridge keeps ranting on about – about it."

"Yeah, she's pretty desperate to find out what you're doing. Which is why I'm so curious."

I sigh, not wanting to say the thing that has been nagging at my mind for so long. "My – my friends seem to think," I say slowly, "that you – that you might just be doing this on behalf of your – your squad and stuff."

"Doing what?"

"This. Us. That's you're with me on behalf of Umbridge. Not that she set you up to it, but that you-" I force a laugh, feeling ashamed at the bewildered expression on his face. "It's stupid, right?"

Draco looks heartbreakingly hurt, and suddenly, I know that all my worries have been for nothing. "Belly, you surely don't believe-"

"No," I say at once. "No, I don't." I move closer and kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry."

But Draco takes my shoulders and pushes me back gently. "Belly, you know that she wants us to find out what you're all doing. But what is said between you and me stays there."

"I know," I say, feeling immensely guilty. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he says, but looks away.

I groan. "Please don't sulk."

"I'll sulk if I want to sulk."

I stand up and lean down to kiss his cheek. "I'll miss you," I say cheesily.

"Of course you will, you're desperately in love with me," he mumbles, the corner of his lips twitching.

I grin. "You wish," I say. I wave goodbye, and run down the astronomy tower steps. I start towards the seventh floor, hoping desperately that I won't be too late.

But thankfully, when I reach the Room of Requirement, I bump into Ginny, who is just going in herself. "You're lucky you didn't forget this time," she says, raising an eyebrow at me. "Ernie Macmillan just tried to convince me you're spying for Malfoy." I scoff, and she pauses at the door. "I still hate Malfoy, but on your behalf I told him to shove his wand up-"

"Ginny, Isobel," calls Harry from the other side of the room, where the DA members are huddled around him. "You're just in time. We're going to practice patronuses today."