The Write of Way [Work in Progress, Member Driven]

Writer's Glue or How To Fix the Broken Sh*t #3--Grammar

I wasn't going to cover this because it's pedestrian and basic and there's a ton of books covering it on Wattpad.

I DID promise to cover what people asked for so here I am, covering it. Beats repeating myself daily, I suppose ;)

My angle is how to fix it once it's broken and how to prevent it.

There you are, someone critiqued your story and the grammar is incomprehensible. You're sitting there with your story chock full of highlighted errors and red marks and feeling like a dweeb.

What now?

There's a big lie out there and it's the reason so much of the grammar on Wattpad is atrocious.

And that lie is...

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"IF YOU READ GOOD WRITING YOU WILL LEARN CORRECT GRAMMAR."

Bullsh*t.

Know why?

Because if you know nothing about grammar, how do you judge what IS well-written, grammatically speaking? You can judge a good tale because you were entertained but you will not develop the editor's eye you'll need for grammar.

Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn is a classic. The grammar?

Don't try it at home, folks.

Charles Dickens? Brilliant writer. Grammar? Fine if you're writing for a news service in 1800's Victorian England.

Tolkien? Master of the run-on sentence and captain of overused commas by today's standards.

Now, while reading strong writers will help with grammar by increasing your ear and will not hurt--what most people on Wattpad need is an English composition class. In other words, how is the writing actually constructed and how to tell when it is wrong?

Not the story, not the dialogue, [because people don't speak like the Queen of England or a BBC announcer unless they ARE a BBC announcer or they're a pompous twit] the actual construction of the language.

The real kicker? It changes all the time. And writers break those rules for maximum effect.

The problem for a newer writer is that if you are breaking the rules all the time from ignorance then you miss the point of breaking them for effect and thus, lose a very important tool in your writer's toolbox--never mind that you come off looking like a sixth grader in a room full of university grads.

Why oh why oh why do people have no problem comprehending that you cannot learn algebra if you haven't learned to multiply, yet writers think that just because they found the answer in the back of the text book they should automatically know how to GET that answer without practising math exercises, over and over and over and over?

Writing is a learning process. In steps.

Like math.

Grammar is alive and shifting. It can depend on many factors including POV, style of writing, what's changed in the fashion of writing, what era you are trying to emulate etc.

Sooo what to do, to fix your broken story?

Glue #1:

Simplify KISS it:

Stop trying to be writerly. Keep It Simple, Sweetie. The more "writerly" you try to sound if you're new, or English is not your first language, the more likely you are to screw it up. We're sitting in Starbucks drinking Americanos and munching on brownies. Now, tell me your story.

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Glue #2:

Read out loud:

You will catch at least half of your errors if you read out loud and I mean OUT LOUD as if you're reading to an audience. Now you read it out loud and the sentence sounds wrong...what to do?

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Glue #3:

Do the Backwards Tango:

If you are in doubt after reading aloud--reverse the sentence. If a sentence doesn't work when you write it backwards, it's not grammatically correct.

EG: "We started the car then we got the Fritos spilled."

"We got the Fritos spilled then we started the car."

CORRECTION: "The Fritos spilled WHEN we started the car."

Then if you like it better, tango forwards again..."When we started the car, the Fritos spilled."

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Glue #4:

Go play on Grammar Monster website. Run yourself through the tests. Find your weak spots. We all have them. Turns out I have a problem spotting "interjections". Don't ask me why, it's as if they won't stick in my brain. The solution is to keep playing on Grammar Monster until I can spot them miles away.

You have to flex those grammar muscles all the time or they will grow weak and dissipate. You have to exercise your weakest muscles and keep working on it.

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Just writing poor grammar over and over will not train your mind to accept correct grammar. Nor will having someone like me ragging on you endlessly over the same mistakes. You must become ruthless with your writing.

You have to *correct* your own work over and over by editing/revising. It will become faster and easier with practise.

Then one day you wake up and are writing away madly and like magic--you just stop making the mistake.

                     ★★★★★Strive for excellence not perfection.★★★★★

I welcome comments and questions and of course, I like votes!

This is a member-driven series so let me know what you want to learn.

Also, if you have more subjects you want me to cover, please leave a note in the comment section below and I will try to cover it during a session of Writer's Glue.

This is dedicated to alexkarola's kids. You know what I mean☻