Roo

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  My hand greets the steamy mirror as I swipe its wet surface to reveal a pair of big brown eyes set in an almost ghostly pale face. The only contrast was the deep dark circles from sleep deprivation and the now vibrant red mark staining my cheek from the force of his slap. Now that I was alone I dared to touch it only to flinch away with the sting of it. Even my eyes where judging me, betraying all the secrets my mouth knew not to speak of. Fuck. I couldn't bare to look at the repulsive mess I've become for even a second longer. Turning my back to the fogged up mirror I grabbed my clothes and dressed quickly not caring enough to properly brush my hair, a few yanks of the brush through my wild tangles and I called it quits.

Flick

Flick

Flick

Finally after three attempts I see his bic come to life, the flam dances a bit with his breath as he brings the lighter too his mouth igniting the cigarette resting between his tight lips. Deeply inhaling the toxins I can see the cigarette caress his addiction. Half a second passes before he releases the tension and exhales. He hasn't noticed me yet and and I wish more than anything I could slip past him and run anywhere but here. Not possible. Walking quietly I make my way to the couch and sit next to him being very careful not to look timid or upset. My face remained neutral but my heart raced when he looks over at me.  "I'm sorry I hit you. You know how I get when we get low. Even you can't stand to be around me when I'm like this, I know that's why you took so long in the bath. I mean fuck Alice you should know by now that I hate that. I don't like being avoided" the frustration was clear in his voice and I needed to diffuse this before it got bad again. "No no no I swear I wasn't trying to avoid you. I was just feeling grouchy from not smoking and didn't want to take it out on you ya know. I didn't mean to take so long I just lost track of time while trying to relax. I know we don't really have the money but can you go get some bud this late if I gave you the cash? I don't think I can sleep without it." A lie but a necessary one. I didn't want to smoke and I really didn't have the money for it. But anything to get him out of the house for a minute and put him in a better mood. I didn't even want to think about what I would be sacrificing to get him this bag. "Yeah I can think of a few people who are good let me make some calls." Instantly his tone and demeanor lightened and I had to hold back a sigh of relief. Handing him the cash from my beat up fossil purse I wait for him to leave.

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