Begin Again - A.I

forty.

"Okay, look, there has to be something we can do."

"What are we not thinking of?"

Michael, Luke, Calum and I were all in Michael's garage for an emergency meeting to discuss the devil Marie and what to do with her. I had told them what had happened with Ashton and I earlier and they were all as shocked as I was. None of us knew what to do, or really what was even happening.

"This happened last time," Michael explains. He's sitting on his tatted armchair and he's taking this whole thing very seriously. "He completely changes when he's around her. We watched as she slowly tore him apart."

"But if he knows what she's like why is he letting her back in?" Calum asks the question we all want the answer to.

"Because he thinks he loves her," Michael replies. "He thinks that's what love is."

Listening to all of this made me want to be sick. I hated the idea of never meaning anything to Ashton, that the words he said and the things he did meant nothing to him at all. I hated that I had fallen for it. And I felt like I couldn't even talk to anyone about it. The boys wouldn't really understand, plus I didn't feel too comfortable discussing such intimate details with them. Same with my mum. I was just battling with this by myself.

"Last time he almost quit the band," Luke mumbles. "Said he didn't have time for it anymore."

"Didn't have time for us," Calum corrects.

Michael sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "We have to stop this before it can even start."

"What are we meant to do?" Luke cries, and I'm surprised by how much this all means to them. "We can't force him to do anything. You know how stubborn he is, once he makes his mind up it's set. There's no changing it." He then stands up, ready to leave.

"Luke-"

"No, this is bullshit. I'm done with looking after Ashton all the time. He gets himself into these messes and we always have to clean it up. I'm fucking done. It's his life and it's his choices, and we can't do shit. Stop trying to save the guy. He's too far from saving. I'll see you guys at school." And with that he's out the door.

It's silent after Luke leaves, none of us want to say anything. Probably because we know nothing we say will help. Michael just keeps groaning.

"I should probably go too," Calum says. "I have homework to do, and I don't think we can really do anything here."

I knew he was right and so did Michael, but that didn't stop Michael from denying it.

"Whatever," he mumbles. 

"Bye, Ella," Calum says to me as he heads for the door.

I give him a half smile. "Bye, Calum."

I look at Michael just sitting there, looking as though the world is caving in around him. And I guess in a way it is. Michael's done all this before. He's seen it happen and he's had to pick up the broken pieces, and now they're being shattered all over again. I wasn't there the first time. I have no idea how much this means to him, to any of the boys. I don't know just how bad this really is. 

But I still feel it in my own way. My connection might not have been the same one Ashton shared with his friends, but him and I did share one. And to have it completely cut off leaves me feeling so lost and empty, like I'm constantly waiting for something that will never come.

"What happened between you and Ashton?" Michael suddenly asks me.

"What?" 

"You two obviously had something going on. What happened?"