— • ❃ • —
Shuffling in place, Clarke glanced around for any sign of Costia. When she doesn't see her, thankfully, she asks, "Just you this time?"
Lexa gives a short nod. "Costia is in class, working on some sort of book, I don't know."
"Oh," Clarke says, chewing her bottom lip.
"She wants to be a writer."
Clarke nods.
Her eyes soften as she looks Clarke over, and Clarke has the most immense urge to step into her space, pull her in and hold her the way she had been held in Lexa's doorway. She wonders if Lexa would still feel safe and loved in her arms the way Clarke still feels in hers.
"You didn't show," Lexa frowns, licking her lips, "I waited for you."
"I know. It just didn't feel right. It didn't feel fair. I'm sorry, Lexa. I have a boyfriend, and I'm so afraid of hurting him, he's nothing but kind to me, and I can't lie to him anymore. I'm sorry."
Lexa nodded. That's it. One small, simple nod. Minutes passed until she finally sliced through the icy silence.
"Don't be," Lexa says with a slight smile, and Clarke feels that smile in every part of her.
They are silent for a long moment before they both begin speaking at the same time.
"Do you think—"
"Do you want to—"
Both stopping mid-sentence, they let out easy laughs, and Clarke says, "Go ahead."
"I was just going to ask if you think it's weird that we found each other," Lexa shrugged.
Clarke grins knowingly. "I don't think it's weird, I know it's weird."
Licking her lips, Lexa ducks her head a bit and says, "I know you don't want to see me. I know that. But it hurts, Clarke. It really hurts."
"Lexa, I can't love you the way I do in your dreams. In our dreams."
"You don't have to love me, I just need you to be there. Please."
Clarke had never seen Lexa this way. So desperate, so pained, and it was all for her.
With a soft sigh, Clarke nods her head. "I'm here."
Seconds passed.
"Do you want to come in?" Clarke asked, and Lexa can see the uncertainty lining her face, barely masking a glimmer of hope. "Would that be..."
"Inappropriate?" Lexa asked, and when Clarke nodded, she released another quiet sigh.
"I don't think so, we can still be friends, right?"
Friends.
Clarke gulped.
Lexa pouted.
"We can?"
A sad smile touches Lexa's lips, the words burning inside of her. "I hope so."
"Okay."
"Okay."
They walk step by step into Clarke's dorm room, and Clarke thinks it feels as natural as breathing—being with Lexa again, walking through the door with her just like they used to. Conversation comes easily, and all the little ways they know each other, the ways they have always known each other, come through so clearly. They still fit, even after all this time.
YOU ARE READING
This Love
Fanfiction"My heaven is here. It was here." The memories are still vivid in their minds. Small. Big. It doesn't matter. They're there. Always splitting through the open wounded cracks as they sleep, where behind each closed eyelid is a new memory, a new ch...
