The End is Near

Chapter Sixteen

~Cassie's POV~

     I tense when the words leave his mouth, clenching my jaw. I take a deep breath and push my tears back. I will not cry. Not anymore.

     "Not now." I don't say anything else, and they seem to understand. We all fall into silence, scanning the trees for any sign of a threat. I walk faster, ahead of everyone, needing time alone. Once I'm a comfortable distance away, while still being close enough to talk to them, I start thinking.

     Julia is the first to come to mind. All the memories we made, all the fun we had. Then her last day. The morning had started off perfectly, I met Keith, planned a date, and went to the mall with her. But then we got home, ran into the walkers and ran into him again, met Karson, and the nightmare began. I thought we were going to be ok, that we'd be with Karson and Keith, be safe. But then my aunt called, we left, and Julia died. If I hadn't of said anything about the community, Julia would be alive, she'd be alive and I could be happy with Keith. It's my fault she's dead. If I had held onto her, ran after her in the first place, she'd be alive, and I wouldn't be alone in this world. I clench my jaw, closing my eyes against the tears building up. I open them and take a deep breath, calm again. I don't deserve to be happy, I don't even deserve to be alive. I should've been the one to die that night, not her. She should be happy and alive.

     Then I think about Keith, what would have happened with us had we stayed with them. I already formed feelings for him during the short amount of time we spent together. I don't know if he felt the same, but he really made me happy. I wonder what will happen with us now, if the feelings I had will come back, or if we will just be friends. What will he think when I tell him about Julia? They already have suspicions, but they don't really know what happened. Will he think that it's my fault? It is my fault.

     I shake my head and keep walking, trying to think about anything but Julia. I scan the trees and spot a group of three walkers shuffling towards us. I smirk, pulling out my swords and walking towards them. The perfect thing to take my anger out on. I ignore the yells of Keith and Karson and continue walking forwards. I walk until I'm close enough that they start coming towards me. I swing my arm, putting my blade through two of their skulls, then pull out my hunting knife and jam it into the third walkers' eye. It drops to the ground, joining the other two, and I smirk again, grabbing my weapons and walking back to the group. The new ones are staring at me in awe and my group is staring at me knowingly. They've been with me long enough to know that when I kill like that, I'm taking out anger. This is the first time I've had to do it with the new group, they have no idea what I'm capable of.

     "We need to start looking vehicles to travel in. I don't car what kind, as long as it has good mileage on it and can fit a good amount in it." I look to Jessica with narrowed eyes. "No sports cars or any fancy cars, got it?" She rolls her eyes, sighing, but nods. I nod and turn, looking for cars. No one starts checking any, much to my annoyance. I roll my eyes and walk to a van in the road. I knock on the window and wait. Seconds later, a body flies at the window, trying to claw its way out. Everyone gasps in shock behind me, jumping in the air when the walker flies towards the window. I turn to them. "Ok, learning time. Which of you are the least afraid of these things?" They all stare at me with wide eyes, not expecting the question. I sigh. "Again, which of you are the least afraid of them?" Finally, someone steps out of the group. Cody comes walking towards me, looking at the car cautiously. I motion for him to come closer. "Ok, I'm going to open the door, when the walker comes out, you kill it, got it?" He stares at me wide-eyed. I sigh. "Do you want me to show you first?" He nods immediately. I shake my head and motion for him to go back to the group and for them all to back up. I turn back to the car and knock on the window again, making the walker go crazy again. I slowly reach for the handle and jerk the door open, stepping back. The walker flies out and runs towards me. I pull my sword out and quickly swing it through the air, cutting its head off. I turn back to the group. "Does everyone know what to do now?" They hesitantly nod their heads, I nod. "Good, get to work! We need at least four cars to carry all of us. No sports cars." I send a pointed look to Jessica. Everyone slowly starts making their way around the road, checking cars and occasionally killing walkers trapped in them. I walk around, helping some and checking my own cars.

     An hour later, we've cleared out five cars and are getting ready to leave.

     "Ok, get into groups and split into cars, I'll be in the Suburban, I can take four people with me, packs will be in the back. Who's coming with me?" Keith, Karson, Cody, and Jessica all come forward. I raise an eyebrow at Jessica confused as to why she wants to come with me, but when I see her ogling Keith, I understand why. I roll my eyes and stifle a laugh when I see his disgusted face. It brings me relief, to see that he doesn't like her, I guess my feelings never went away like I thought they did. I can't let them get stronger though, because once he finds out what happened to Julia, he'll blame me, everyone will, and I'll be left more broken than I was before. "Ok, lets go, everyone follow me." We all walk to our cars and get in. I'm in the drivers seat, Keith's in the passenger seat, and Karson, Cody, and Jessica are in the back. I start the car and carefully maneuver between all the cars in the road, making sure everyone is still following. Once we get to open road, I speed up, flying down the highway. I know the horde is coming up soon, and I want to get passed them as fast as I can. I turn to Keith. "We're going to be coming up on the horde soon, keep your weapon ready, I may need your help clearing a path to get through them." He nods and takes his weapon out. It's the katana I gave him in my room. "You still have that?" I ask, looking at him. I would've expected him to get rid of it and get a gun instead. He smiles.

     "Of course I do, you gave it to me, I would never get rid of this. It could've been the only thing I'd have to remember you. I'm really glad it's not." I feel my lips twitching, wanting to pull up in a smile, but I put images of Julia, her death, her last words into my head and clench my jaw, looking back at the road.

     "Yeah, I'm happy I'm alive too." No I'm not. Julia should be the one alive, not me. I hear him sigh and take a deep breath. He must be so confused, he doesn't know what's wrong. I don't want him to know, but I know he has to. Just not anytime soon. I'll tell him when I'm ready. I just don't know if I ever will be.