Metanoia, a Ghost Bird Fanfic

First Day

FLASH FORWARD

After I graduated junior high we moved to Charleston, South Carolina. We never stay in one place more than a few years because my mom fears people would find out my identity. That's why I'm sure there's more to me pretending to be a male than to keep me from making friends or dating, but I've been too busy trying to stay alive to find out what. Once we arrived a few days ago she told me she enrolled my sister, Marie, and I in high school. She handed us our schedules and told me to stay out of her sight. Marie made friends with one of our neighbors and told me to stay away from her as well, she spends most of her time over there now. I've spent most of my time treating the wounds my mom inflicts on me and finding a safe place to feed. There's a large forest behind my house and I've spent all of my free time exploring and trying to distract myself from how much I want blood. Ever since we moved into that house I feel far hungrier than normal.

Throb, I glared at my ceiling harder.

Throb, I ground my teeth as I concentrate on the imaginary hole I'm creating in the ceiling. Any minute now it'll spontaneously combust.

THROB, giving up I rolled over on my mattress and cradle my jaw, the throbbing has gotten worse. Ever since we moved to Charleston four days ago my fangs have been throbbing to the point its painful. Eating whatever human food and animal blood I can find has been the only relief I've been able to get. But still it's just slight.

THROB. I stand in a flash, feeling incredibly dizzy from hunger. I didn't want to go hunting for at least another day, normally I can go a few weeks before the hunger is too bad.  I wanted to scout out the area to find a place no one will find me before hunting. 

Guess that plan went down the drain because my fangs aren't giving me a choice.

I creep soundlessly through my house, its around 2 a.m. and I can tell my mom is asleep by her heavy breathing. Dad and Marie are out of the house tonight, neither of them will probably come back for a few days. I shuddered thinking about where Marie could be, probably out partying even though school starts tomorrow. 

I hope she stays safe.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts once I reach the barrier of the woods after climbing through my kitchen window. I still don't know this area as well as I want to but I know it's about seventeen miles wide and ten in length; more than enough space that no one is likely to find me.

I don't realize I already started running until I hear the thumps of my feet hitting the leaves scattered across the ground. I let myself get lost in the rhythm of my heart beat and the moonlight stretching through the branches. I'm able to forget about everything my human life is shackled to and just focus on the hunt.

Around six miles in I smell it, an elk straight ahead of me. He was grazing under a giant oak, and at this moment I remember why I do this. Only the elk and oak tree, both as alone as I was, are forced to be witness to my vice. I need this because just like my breath belongs to my lungs, and my tears to my eyes, my hunger is something that belongs to me, and I belong to hunger. I need to feel the sorrow of stealing a life so I can feel, so I know I'm alive. So I can touch the animalistic greed that my species branded in me, and the self-hatred human sentiment has forced into me.

 In this moment everything is torn to its core, it doesn't matter I'm forced to be a boy, it doesn't matter my mother abuses me, all that exists in killing is the hunter and the hunted. Because outside of this I'm alone in everything I do, I'm alone in suffering from my mother and I'm alone in suffering from the hunger being a vampire causes.