Metanoia, a Ghost Bird Fanfic

A/N

This isn't a chapter... sorry

But there will be one soon

So I owe all of you an explanation for why I've dropped off of the face of the planet; my dad died.

I would say something like Its okay/ he's in a better place but honestly I couldn't imagine a more horrifying thing that could happen to a corpse... if something like that happened to my body after I died I'd be hella salty and wouldn't want anyone to say "it's for the best, she's in a better place" 

It's weird sharing this because I don't usually talk about personal stuff, especially on this fanfic because I wanted to keep it professional??? Yeah even I don't know, this is my freaking spot and I don't like how distant it has been so Imma show my personality on these a/ns.

And you know what, I've gone through a lot recently and it's ok to admit that. I'm not looking for attention and for the love of god I don't want pity but I'm trying to treat myself better and with that comes not bottling things up. So yeah, it feels good at least not hide things. I didn't tell anyone (and I mean no one, not even close friends) that he died for like 3 months because I felt like I was complaining. You know what that's called? Ding ding -> self neglect

Anyways I'm more stable now, I'm going to update the next chapter this Sunday (or sooner)

I'm excited, I haven't been so excited for a while but these past few months have been a roller coaster.

If you're interested in my life since his passing I've been juggling two jobs and 4 difficult classes and 2 easier ones. After saving up enough money I'm moving into my van at the end of this month and traveling North America once I graduate, and I'm getting a dog soon! 

Hahahahaha all of you probably think I'm crazy but the van is classy I promise, maybe if you guys want I'll show a picture of the interior. I was planning on living in a van before my dad died, and it's not as horrible/ unsanitary as you may think. I have more than enough saved up to live comfortably in a apartment but I'm choosing to live in a van. Anyways before I move to the city in a few weeks I'm thinking of going camping for like a whole month to practice some self care since the past while has just been working myself to death. 

OK maybe I am crazy but I just want to be majestic in the forest and play guitar around a camp fire with my dog under the stars and read/write/draw all day, and maybe cry some because it's good for me. I've saved up enough money and I freaking deserve it!

Also I've decided to become a huge pine tree and guard the forest and none of you are powerful enough to stop me.

By the way if any of you are having a difficult time right now I'm giving you a virtual hug; it'll all be ok, message me if you want. I have a lot of good music I've found and I'll share it with you. I've recently discovered online friendships are amazing! Warning: I'm extremely lacking in social skills but I have good intentions and can make pterodactyl noise that are strangely impressive, also my chocolate chip pancakes are killer..... 

(kinda making too many death puns?)

I've read every comment that's been posted these past few months, and although I haven't replied I appreciate all of them.

Anyways, once I am done with the van conversion I will have a lot more free time. As I said before it might be baby steps but I am going to drag this story forward. I'm not promising regular updates, especially after re-reading this series I realized I promise reliable updates at the beginning of like every chapter yet I have never updated regularly..

But I am trying; pinky promise.

Ok thanks for listening to my note/rant/confession, I'll see you all soon <3