Twenty One Pilots

Vessel Analysis: Holding On To You

Holding On To You.

Because you're all I have left.

"I'm taking over my body.. Swat,"
    - I've had enough of this. I can do this. For so long I've let you (depression, anxiety, guilt, doubt, fear, etc.) control me, but no longer. I'm taking my body back over from you. After staying with you for so long, I lost so much of myself. Everything I meant to end and finish never got done. My plans unfinished and my dreams uncompleted because of you. I've fought you so many times that I don't even know who I am with you. My mind, my soul, my heart. Who am I without you? Flesh is all I have and am anymore. But not anymore. I'm taking my body back over. My mind, my soul, my heart.
"I must've forgot.. Take my soul."
    - I told you that I was done playing with you. But I forgot who I am and how powerful you are. I can never do what I said and regain what I lost. I think I can, but then I can't. Like a sea at war on its own waters in a storm, you cannot trust me. I am unstable in who I am, who I want to be, and who you are to me. So forget it all. Just take my life instead. I'm not worth these troubles. Who was I to think that I could walk away?
"You are surrounding... both of my eyes."
    - You're taking over everything. Covering, burning, twisting, breaking. You are never satisfied until you have covered me completely, and I am under your full control. The left side of my brain is what deals with logic. You are even twisting and destroying my logic too. My creativity is still there on the right side of my brain, it's how I fight you. But even what I create sometimes doesn't make sense because of how much you've destroyed my left side brain. No logic. You're twisting what I see of my life before me. I don't know what to believe anymore when all I have is what you tell me.
"And I'll be holding on to you,"
    - But I'm holding on to you. (This one says a lot to me, so I'll leave it at that.)
"Remember the moment... night, right?"
    - Sometimes, leaving and "out the window sill" itself can look more appealing. I'm thinking twice about living here. Should I leave? This usually happens at night, where most of my battles take place. He was right. I can't deny this is how I feel. I will try to deny this is what I'm fighting. But I just don't want to be here anymore.
"Fight it, take the pain, ignite it,"
    - It's okay to feel this way. I'm going to feel this way. I may be lost at sea, but there is always a shore. I can fight this pain. I will take this pain. I can win. Can I win? I won't deny my pain anymore. Here I am to fight you again.
"Tie a noose around your mind... must obey me."
    - I won't take my life. Sometimes to stay alive, you've got to kill your mind. The noose isn't for me. It's for my mind. You (depression, anxiety, etc.) who left me so weak. This is for you. But you're still a part of me. You hold not only my logic, but my creativity. I'll be gentle so I can still breathe. I just realized something. I'm going to turn this picture sideways. Without being under your control, I started to see this rope not as a noose but as a leash. I'll tie one end to this tree so you have to stay with me and listen. This isn't a noose anymore. You can't make me see it this way again. This is a leesh. You are under my control. And you must obey me.
"Entertain my faith."
    - I'm desperate. I may be fighting now, but I am still losing. Pay attention to what I am about to ask, my beliefs. I am so lost right now. Entertain what I believe in. Believe in me that I can do this. I have faith I can do this. I can do this right? Play along with me. Believe in me too. I'm using everything I have to fight this. I need something to entertain my faith and make me believe I can do this too.
"Lean with it... gifted with thought,"
    - I can write these songs and melodies all I want. I can have the catchiest beat and the easiest to sing along to songs. I can write all these words for you to devote yourself too as you wish. But what I am trying to say will mean nothing so long as you have no meaning towards it. We need to think. Apply our own meaning. We were gifted with thought. Use it now.
"Is it time to move our feet... It's our hearts that make the beat."
    - It's not this song, It's not this melody, these words that are causing this feeling for you when the song hits you. It's our own meaning that's what makes it hurt and moves us and causing us to think. The speakers aren't what's making that beat or what makes this song, or any, important. It's our meaning and passion that's what makes this beat. It's our own interpretations, our own hearts and thoughts that's what truly makes this song of many important.