I Need You

Letter

Nikki's POV:

A month passed by and I had started working, I was happy with my job, eveything was fine except, Taehyung. I missed him, I missed being with him. Before, even though we were so far away, we were so close.

But now that we're closer, we've grown far apart. I spend the days working, and the nights crying. I've made a good friend in my workplace, Kim Jae Hwa. She's been really good to me and I've been able to confide in her.

I stopped contacting the guys, except Jin hyung. He occasionally checks up on me and I'm grateful for it, but every time he tries to bring up Taehyung. I always refuse to talk about it and it gets me off in a bad mood.

I had just come out of the shower and I was putting some cream on when I noticed something on the dressing table. 

It was the ring Taehyung had given to me. I took it and went to throw it, but as soon as I was about to I stopped, and took it back to the dressing table. I put it through a chain and threw it in the drawer. 

I fell on the bed crying. Why don't I have the heart to throw it? Why do I still love him!? Why am I so stupid?

I saw the music box near my bed side table and opened it. Hold me tight started playing, and all it did was make me cry even harder. 

I looked over at my luggage that I still hadn't completely emptied, because I was, no, I am such a mess.

I saw something like a box inside my luggage, and went to get a closer look. It was the antique box that had Taehyung's letter to his Halmoni. I had dug it back out of the ground since I was leaving. 

I have to give it back to him. But I don't want to face him again! Although I have to. The next day, I asked Jin hyung if they were at the dorm, and he said they were. So I made my way to the dorm, and rang the bell.

Jin hyung opened the door and looked surprised. I greeted everyone else, and asked where Taehyung was. He came out, and my heart sank a bit when I saw him.

He looked shocked to see me and his expression softened. The rest of the guys, sensing he tension, left the room.

"I came to give this back to you. I brought it back since I was leaving Sweden." I said and handed him the box. 

He nodded and took the box. But he opened it and took out the letters, and gave me back the box. I looked at him confused. "I'll keep the letter, you keep the box. Its yours anyway." He said.

I wanted to argue, but chose not to. "How are you doing?" He asked, and I looked up at him with  a blank expression. "Good, how about you?" 

"I'm doing good too.." He said and half smiled. "I'll get going then, tell the others I said goodbye." 

And with that I left. He didn't even stop me. Why am I getting sad about that?! We broke up, everything is over. 

After reaching home, I kept the box on the table, and gave it a good a stare. I took all the smalls things Taehyung had given me, like the ring, necklaces, bracelets, and so many other small things that he had sent from Korea. 

He always sent me things, even though I told him not to. I shouted at him one day for wasting so much money, but that never stopped him. I finally took all these things, including some Polaroids of the two of us, and opened the box to put them inside it.

But as I opened the box, I found two pieces of paper inside. I opened it and found that it's a part of Taehyung's letter to his grandma. He must've missed it when he took all the letters out.

I couldn't help myself but read it,  ".................... which I never did. Oh and Halmoni, you know how I always tell you everything, and anything. So before I finish this letter I need to tell you about one last thing. I met this girl recently, and she's really taken a special place in my heart. Her name is Nikki. Pretty name right? But she's even prettier than her name, she's.... beautiful. I've never met a girl like her. You know how I've never been shy around people and how easily I can approach people right, well with her, it's different. I get shy and nervous every time she looks at me, my cheeks get red hot every time she compliments me or says something nice. And every time she smiles, my heart starts to race. Every thing she does makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach, how she always looks out for me, how she calls me 'Tae', how her nose wrinkles every time she laughs hard. Or how she smiles every time she blushes, how her lip curls when she concentrates,  how she clenches her fists every time she sneezes. Or when strands of her hair falls on her face, and she blows it away, when she stays up late at night to make me food kekekekeke. I could go on and on. I just can't describe how gorgeous, no no, stunning, no no no, beautiful she is! I could look at her forever and never get tired. She's effortlessly breathtaking, because she's so down to earth and kind, she's so warm and sweet. I feel comfortable when I'm with her, I could talk to her all day and never want to stop. I've been having my doubts about whether I like her or not, but after talking to you, it's pretty clear I do huh? keke I guess I'm done for. Look over us from heaven Halmoni, and make sure to always be with me. 

I love you,

Taehyung."

Tears wouldn't stop falling from my eyes. How on earth was I supposed to move on if the world didn't allow me to! I can't believe he had thought of me this way. I guess the distance came between us, and maybe this was what he was afraid of before. 

He tried to stay away and make me move on because he knew it wasn't going to work out. I should've just let him do that. Why did I force him to tell me what was on his mind that day in the play ground?! 

I kept the letter back inside the box and kept all the other things inside as well and shut the box. I went to bed but I couldn't fall asleep. 

I opened the music box he had given me and cried myself to sleep once again.