Soulmates

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Scott woke up and needed a few seconds to realize he was in Mitch's room. He lifted the sheets a little bit to look at his body underneath them, to verify the thought that had popped into his head: they had sex. "Oh my god," he whispered.

"That's what I was thinking."

Scott's heart skipped a beat as he was startled by Mitch's voice. "Oh, fuck. I thought you were still sleeping. Did I wake you?" 

"No. I was already awake," Mitch responded. He turned to face Scott.

They were both inspecting each other's expressions, until Scott interrupted the silence, by stating the obvious, by saying their thoughts out loud: "We had sex." It was great.

"We did..." Mitch nodded slowly. "Do you remember it?" he asked.

Of course. "I do... very well... You?" It was too special to forget.

Mitch sighed of relief and nodded again. He too remembered every second of it. Mitch hesitated, nervously biting his lip. There were things he needed to know. "Do you... regret it?"

Scott frowned and didn't answer. He just casted the question back: "Do you?" He got insecure. He thought it was clear how much he loved it, but Mitch was acting weird. Didn't he know by now? Didn't he love it? Scott just wanted morning kisses, but he had a hard time figuring out how Mitch felt about all this, with his poker face. He wanted to confess how much he loved it, but was too scared to be rejected, still. He wouldn't understand after last night, but you never know. There was still the slight possibility that he was completely wrong, blinded by his own love.

Mitch hated Scott for casting the question back. He didn't answer it either. He opened up about the inner fight he was having. "Damn it, Scott. I'm scared. What if we don't feel the same about this?! This could be bad for us!" He was hiding his head in his hands and shaking it. He panicked completely. 

Mitch had been awake for a little while and had been thinking about it. He had said he didn't want to get hurt, but he meant that in an emotional way... He was afraid Scott had not understood that, because he had asked if he had hurt him, but in a physical way, after the sex. Scott may have said that he loved him, but he could not forget that he was drunk and maybe didn't mean it the way he did. This was fucked up.

"Shit, Mitch. Now I'm scared too..." He wasn't convinced anymore, that Mitch loved him back. He might not... Anyway, Mitch clearly didn't know how he felt about it either. His message didn't come across the way he thought it did, the way he wanted it to. Now he did regret last night. Well no, not exactly, but he shouldn't have let them drink so much, he should've had an open, sober conversation with Mitch about his feelings instead. They just got straight into the sex without clearing things out. Dumb. It was only confusing.

Scott noticed how stressed Mitch was and pulled him closer in a hug. "Shh... Mitchy, calm down... We'll both just have to be really honest with each other and we'll see how this will turn out. But I'm sure we won't let it ruin our friendship, right?" Scott tilted Mitch's chin, looking for confirmation. "Right?" 

Scott already gathered the courage to confess his feelings to Mitch, but the latter shook his head. "We shouldn't have let this happen in the first place..." They could've avoided all of this. He knew he'd end up getting hurt.

Those words were unexpected. Scott felt his chest being ripped in two just like yesterday. It was painful. "So you regret it?!" Scott swallowed. He had never been this scared before for someone's answer.

"No! Not at all!" Mitch shook his head. That's not what he meant to say... but then he realized what he just said, his eyes widened. Shit shit shit. It was out there. There was no going back anymore. He felt so vulnerable. He saw the surprised look on Scott's face and hid his face in his chest, still curled up against Scott's body. He shut his eyes, he didn't dare to look at him. He wanted to disappear, because he could still feel Scott's presence too well. What now? He tried to explain. "Well, it depends. I don't regret it if you don't," he mumbled against his chest.