The Diary of a Heartbreaker {Harry Styles}

Ten} Confusion

Ten} Confusion

November 4, 2009

I'm not going to lie. I'm a mixture of anger, confusion and heartbreak. This morning I met up with Thalia like I usually do. I was in front on my locker, getting my books for the first half of the day when she walked up with some of her friends.

"Hey Thalia," I said smiling.

"Don't you 'hey Thalia' me Harry. A little birdy told me about Daniella. I never knew you were the reason for her leaving. I'm so glad that it happened though. She was annoying little bitch," Thalia said.

I slammed my locker aggressively before responding to Thalia. How dare she talk about Daniella that way. If Daniella was a considered a bitch I don't even know what Thalia would be considered.

"Don't talk about Daniella that way Thalia," I seethed.

"And why not?" She asked smugly.

"Because Daniella's not the bitch, you are. That's right. I called you a bitch. You're a slut too. It was fun while it lasted, but we're over Thalia," I said confidently. With that I turned around and started to walk towards my first class of the day.

"But Harry," Thalia called after me. She sounded like she was about to cry.

"You're making a big mistake Harry. You'll never see Daniella again. Just get over her!" Thalia cried.

I turned around to face Thalia again. "You don't know that Thalia. I'll see her again one day and we'll have a better relationship than we could ever have."

I turned back around and continued to walk to my first class, leaving Thalia to break down in the hallway in front of everyone.

I felt bad for leaving her there in the middle of the hallway, but at the same time, I didn't. I had been considering breaking up with Thalia for awhile now. We just didn't click well. I had thought we did, but as time went on I realized how wrong I was. I thought I was finally over Daniella, but I wasn't.

I know it's stupid for me not to be over her. I should be. She's long gone. But there's something inside me that says I'll see her again one day. Then maybe we can have a chance at a proper relationship. I would really like that.

But even if that did happen, it would be a long time from now.

I know it seems kind of weird, bit right now I just want to focus on music and my singing. I feel like I'm actually pretty good at singing. I get this sensation of pride when I learn a certain song or hit a certain note. It's exhilarating.

Okay, I feel like I'm just rambling on now.

Anyway....

Recap: I'm 15, almost 16, and single.

Man am I young and fucked up.

Until next time then.

HarryXx

- - - - -

Shaylie's POV

I had just read the next entry in Harry's diary and for some reason it gave me an uneasy feeling. Like this was beginning of where things started to go wrong for Harry. I mean, he broke up with his girlfriend, he liked someone he would probably never see again, and he discovered singing was something he like to do.

On top of all that, he called himself fucked up. I wish he hadn't thought of himself this way. He was just a young teenager. And everybody makes mistakes. Especially teenagers.

I feel like there's a point where every teenager feels like they have life all figured out. And it's okay to think that, as long as they realize at some point that they don't have life figured out. Nobody truly has their life figured out. It's impossible to know everything that's going to happen to you in your life.

I hoped Harry knew this when he was growing up. I hoped I would read more and he would write about how life was actually going well for him and he could be worse off. I hoped that all the entries would be happy. I knew that none of that would be true though.

I knew the entries would just get worse. I was almost scared to read what Harry thought about himself because whatever he wrote probably wasn't true. Then again, I was a fan of him and One Direction as a whole. I couldn't idolize him while reading this. It wasn't right. If I continued to idolize him I could never understand what he was thinking.

And that's what I really wanted. To understand Harry so I could eventually understand his death. But right now I was just confused and uneasy.

AN: Hey everyone! It's a new update and it took less than a month for once... yay? I know this update is kind of boring and short, but it's leading up the next chapters where things get serious.

Anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying the new year. I've had four days off of school because it's -30 to -50 degrees outside with the wind chill. It can be like 110 degree in the summer though. Trust me, Minnesotans aren't that crazy...

Okay, hopefully another update soon!

Stay beautiful,

XxLily

P.S. If I posted a 5 Seconds of Summer story, would you read it?