Broken -Destiel-

10

A/N
Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts, and self harm. If you are sensitive or easily upset or whatever, you can skip this chapter. I do want to note that suicide, self harm or any mental illness is NOTHING to romanticize over and it is definitely NOT something you should do for anything in that sort of line. I am just putting these things in the story to give Cas character and conflict.

It's been two days since the date with Dean and he's been trying to talk to me a lot more in school, but I keep the conversation short because I don't want anyone to see him with me and make fun of him.
My anxiety is a lot worse than it was before, Anna beats me up in school, Charlie moved away due to her parents working in a different town now, dad Isn't happy and Gabe has a girlfriend now so he's never home anymore. It all happened so fast that I don't even know if it's real or not.

It was lunch time in school now and I was in the library reading. Nobody else was in here which comforted me. My phone buzzed and I was debating whether or not I should answer it, but then gave in at the thought of it being dad and he needed something. I opened it up and seen it was from Dean

Dean
Stay where you are, okay? I'll be there in a minute. Just DON'T MOVE

ME
What are you talking about?

No response. What does he mean by stay where I am?

It was just a minute after that when I heard a loud beeping sound echoing Through the school and seen Dean running in through the library door. He ran up to me, fear written all over his face and he grabbed my hand and took me out into the halls. That's when I seen it, the bright, blinding yellow-orange light that had heat radiating from it. The school was on fire and it was getting bigger by the second. I stopped when I seen the flames, resulting in Dean turning around and looked at me. "Let's go" he screamed over the crackling. "No" i shouted back, I didnt want to move and I assumed he realized I wasn't going to any time soon because he picked me up bridal style and ran to the door. I held onto him and looked behind him toward the fire as it got further and further away from us. Before I knew it we were outside and so was half the school.

Dean laid me down on the grass far enough from the school that if anything blew up or if the fire got bigger, it wouldn't hit us.

I couldn't breathe, everything was going in slow motion, I was sweating and I felt a pain in my chest. Panic attack. I looked at Dean to try to calm down but it only made it worse instead. He looked at me and came close. He put my head in his chest and ran his fingers through my hair. He was whispering things along the lines of "it's okay" "I'm here" "nothing will hurt you" "you're alright" I started to calm down a bit and hugged Dean tighter

"Why did you come and get me?" I asked, a tear rolling down my face. Dean moved positions so he could look at me but still be holding me. I was in his lap and had my head in his chest while he was holding me and looking down at me. "What do you mean, Cas?" Another couple tears slid down my face "I had my chance and you took it from me. You took the only chance I was brave enough to do it. You ruined my plan!!" By the end of it I was shouting and pounding my fist on his chest, crying hysterically. He didn't flinch with the punches I was throwing at him but I didn't really pay attention. "Cas, look at me" I hesitantly looked at him "please don't tell me you were going to stay in that building while it was burning" he said, voice cracking in the middle of it like he was about to cry. "It doesn't matter anymore" I huffed, looking down "nothing does, there is no point in me being here when all I do is hurt people and mess everything up. I don't know what to do anymore, Dean" now I was crying just as hard as I was before and I couldn't stop. Dean moved his hand to my chin and moved it up to make me face him. He leaned in and kissed me softly, I kissed back and slowly stopped crying. We were still kissing by the time I stopped completely. I broke the kiss and looked at him. He wiped the tears from my cheek and I noticed then that he had tears in his eyes "please don't say that again. You don't hurt everyone nor do you mess everything up. Cas, in the time that I've known you, you've just made everything better. Can I see something?" I look at him blankly "what do you want to see?" "Your arms" he said quietly "no" I whispered. I seen a tear slip down his face and something inside me clicked, I had to show him. I don't know why I did, but I do. I looked him in the eyes "I'm sorry" I rolled up my sleeves and revealed the fresh cuts, the old cuts, the scars and the bruises. "I'm sorry" I repeated. "Why?" I look up at him and then back down to my arms to roll the sleeves back down "I just want the pain to end" "please don't ever do it again, if you need me, call. I'm always here for you Cas" and with that he kissed me again, more passionately this time. I kissed back until we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. We broke apart and seen a teacher standing there "you guys aren't injured, are you? "No" we said in unison "well you are now dismissed to go home, you will be updated on when the next school day is and all of that information" "thank you, sir" Dean said. The teacher just nodded and walked off. "Are you busy?" Dean asked "no"
"good, you're coming over to meet Sammy" he said with a smile. I smiled back and went with him to his car.

A/N
This chapter sucks, I know. I'm sorry