Prompt and Circumstance

Flimflam of the Fifties

'trick' Mar.25, 2016

"Do you keep Dripping?"

"Yes."

"Well, why don't you wipe yourself?"

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('Dripping' is rendered or melted down animal fat, once used extensively for pastry making and roasting. And pig's trotters? They are scrupulously cleaned feet, plus the pig's head - all used to make soup stock and the tastiest jellied meat)

~ ~ ~

"Do you have a pig's head?"

"Do you have pig's trotters?"

"Yes."

"Gee... you must be looking UGLY!"

Some small souls would 'grill' their local butcher on the phone like this, and then hang up post-haste, to dissolve into somewhat fearful giggles and a few hot and sweaty moments, wondering if he recognized the voice. That's how some practiced their mischief in Denmark back in the '50's.

In those faraway days on the other side of the world in Australia, it was pre-Halloween days. 'Trick or Treat' didn't exist here yet. Well-ll... maybe the 'tricks' did. We had eight weeks of Summer school holidays and our choice of time-management was to create our own brand of fun...or 'mischief'.

Boredom wasn't an option – or even a consideration. How could it be, when fertile imaginations chose to –

Dial 'Public Information' from a local telephone box, solemnly and most politely asking, "Can you please tell me how many holes there are in a crumpet?' - and then hang up quickly and fall about with hysterical laughter.

At a friend's home, a long row of huge old pine trees formed the road boundary. When scaled, (along with scaling both knees and elbows), they were flat on top like a great long nest. From this 'secret' vantage point, we could drop a coin with a hole in it, threaded with a lo-o-ong length of cotton, behind any passing pedestrian. In those days, in our working class area, any money was a precious commodity, and the 'victim' would search all around, thoroughly and worriedly...but to no avail. High above, two small girls had already silently recovered the money and were overcome with muffled giggling.Of course, no-one ever suspected we were there, or what had happened.

When we heard of 'Siamese Twins' (or conjoined siblings), a friend and I thought to amuse and entertain others by pretending that we were actually and truly, the original Siamese twins; and maybe some of the enthralled onlookers would even pay just to hear us talk, and walk, and just 'be'. So we squeezed into one of my Mum's petticoats with our 'inside' arms tucked tightly together inside...and our 'outside' arms hanging out each side, and our 'inside' legs carefully tied together at ankle and knee. In this garb, we walked our local streets, seeking high and low for fame and fortune.

Alas, we didn't look even vaguely alike, and all we managed to do in reality, was to provide much free entertainment for our 'audience'. Ah well, at least we inspired many smiles and chuckles. Sadly, no-one seemed to consider it worth paying for.

A great source of hilarity was to furtively sneak up to the posting slots at our local Post Office and 'post' assorted plastic or rubber toys like spiders, fishing lures - and even a small rubbery crocodile. Our young minds boggled, imagining their shock and horror - even terror? - at their near-death experience!

In today's troubled times, the word 'mischief' is not often heard in relation to our younger generation. Usually, something far more serious - even sinister - is reported. If only the 'reign of terror' today matched our harmless pranks of the 1950's. The worst pain they caused was from the belly laughing we caused with our risque antics and tomfoolery.