Prompt and Circumstance

CTPA? Part One

('alibi' Dec.2-4 2016)

AT YOUR OWN PERIL BE IT...

In dreams, local Councillors and their henchmen questioned me - thankfully no torture was involved. (I understand the Great Councillor in the Sky frowns on this.)

My alibi was that I had certainly NOT nailed the signs to the trees. I'd come home from shopping to find my trees thus adorned. I thought it was by the Council. I didn't know of any official body called the CTPA, but was guessing the 'C' could certainly stand for Council and the 'T' for trees. Living in an area renown for its Pine Plantations, I hazarded a guess the 'P' could be for Plantations... or Pines. I told them I'd Googled that acronym and the only reference I could find was Computed Tomography Pulmonary Angiography.

Now that CTPA is a medical diagnostic test that employs CT to obtain an image of the pulmonary arteries. Well-ll... I'd heard of arterial roots some trees have... maybe they planned some imaging of ours? The why and how had me beat. The Councillors and their henchmen looked a little strangely at me. I read it as confusion. Difficult to tell as mostly they seemed to have a sudden attack of hay-fever or maybe a group 'flu thing? Whatever, noses were buried in tissues... ALL of them. And they were even more strongly affected with my second-guesses - like Calculate Taxation (on) Private Arbours; or maybe Commonwealth Tree Planting Authority? Authority seemed a good guess for the 'A'. The Councillors and their henchmen all buried their faces again, with more coughing and spluttering. I almost suspected laughter... but I don't think so.

When they turned to hubby, I woke with a start. Even in dreamland I couldn't imagine his answer. He's a pathological truth-teller. His rare lies have been whiter than the brightest white. Mine are usually in sync, but I can be evasive as an eel when my feathers are ruffled.

Farming for 40+ years has given me a greenish tinge. So when Council workers came blithely chopping down young pine trees along the highway from town towards our farm, because they were 'feral pines' and must be gotten rid of due to their proliferation, all residents were protesting loudly. All fell on deaf ears - even when sung by the thousands of birds who roosted within every night, even when mooed, baaa-ed, and whinnied by farm animals who eagerly and thankfully sought the shade in summer and windbreaks when the coldest winter winds and driving rain descended.

Determined not to lose OUR trees (technically belonging to the Council as they were between the highway and our front boundary fence... a minor detail!), I set my thinking cap firmly on my head... and it came to me - make my own sign using my Publisher program, laminated to add 'officialdom'. Better make four - to spread the message across several trees. Do them in LARGEST print, heaviest font, on A4 paper.

So I made the signs and Kanute nailed them up - whilst I was away from home. Then, if asked, I could innocently say, "I didn't put any signs on the trees" - and Kanute could honestly say, "I didn't make any signs." And the sign?

WARNING
PROTECTED TREES
by authority
CTPA

And CTPA, you ask? Shhh... don't tell anyone -

CHRISTINE'S TREE PROTECTION ASSOCIATION