Prompt and Circumstance

Bus Stop?

'peculiar parking' (June 24-26, 2016)

"I've surely seen some peculiar parking in my time, but this beats all... " The policeman pushed his cap back. "How the hell are we gonna get the little bugger out of there?"

The bus driver had abruptly stopped the bus overlapping two lanes - bad enough anytime, but at peak hour, with most drivers homeward bound? Weary, fed-up, and anxious for their precious weekend to start, they were swiftly aggravated with the massive pile-up soon caused by the stationary bus AND the police cars blocking ALL lanes. Even a couple of ambulances and crews stood by in confusion - summoned by bystanders to rescue the injured from what surely must be a serious accident. That's how it appeared to the swelling crowd of onlookers, especially when the focus of police attention was directed underneath the bus.

Wilson hadn't deliberately run a red light - it was mostly a yellow one and only turned red as the back part of my 'bendy bus' crossed the intersection, he told himself, and besides, if I'd jammed on the anchors that suddenly, the 'standers' would all have toppled over. Although, he had to admit (only to himself, you understand), he had forced his way out of the bus stop lane, back into the mounting traffic. Can't blame a feller for getting 'antsy' with all that waiting, he'd thought, and even when he saw the cop car coming alongside with its hazard lights flashing, he kept hoping against hope they were after someone else.

Later he would question all his actions from that moment on. Weird - like an unexpected dark side emerged and possessed him - as he swerved across the lanes, forcing the cops to brake... hard! Taking advantage of the shock factor, Wilson slammed on foot AND hand brakes whilst opening the front door, leaped out and slid beneath his low slung bus. He wriggled across the ground until he was near the centre of the bus, well out of reach of questing hands.

Over and over, the police ordered him out to give himself up, to no avail. They tried kindly, understanding tones of voice, and bribery, and even, in frustration, threats. When Wilson would speak, (which was not often), he repeated the same words over and over. "NO! I'm NOT coming out. It looks shitty out there. I'm staying Downunder!" The police called up a specialist cop, skilled in talking people out of threatening or dangerous situations, but he had no luck either.

In desperation, the fire brigade was called to tow the bus to the parking lane; police hoping for a two-fold benefit - clearing a couple of lanes to start moving the monumental traffic jam in every direction, AND to expose and capture the cause of this chaos. The first aim was met, but to the officials' dismay, Wilson crawled along in time with the bus as it moved, and when it was safely parked, so was he.

Finally, one of the spectators (of similar small and slight build as Wilson) volunteered to shimmy under the bus to distract and force him closer to eager hands waiting to grab any part of him they could. Simple logic won the day... and the battle of wills with Wilson.

Of course, it didn't end there. In all the confusion and tension and difficulty working out exactly what the charges were, a policeman missed a nought when he dated one of the fines, and Wilson found himself with a debt of nearly $50,000 for parking his bus illegally since the year 216. The fine was finally adjusted after careful examination, but remains largely unpaid at present, due to the inability of the prisoner, Wilson, to undertake any meaningful paid work in the mental ward of the State prison.