Under The Covers {joshler}

freshman year - part five

"Josh?" Brendon clicked his fingers to bring Josh back into the room. "What's up with you dude, it's not even the first week back and you're zoning out, are you okay?"

It was only wednesday of their first week back after christmas break. But Josh's head was elsewhere, Tyler hadn't text him in weeks, what had started off as cute texts had quickly faded as the gaps in Tyler's replies had gotten longer and longer until they'd stopped altogether leaving Josh convinced he had done something to upset Tyler.

Tyler had been avoiding him too, until now that was. Now he was gesturing with his head for Josh to follow him, and Josh was staring after him, debating if it was a good idea.

"Dude." Brendon said again.

"Yeah, sorry just a lot on my mind I guess, look I gotta go do something so I'll see you in class okay?"

Before Brendon could even respond Josh was patting him on the shoulder and walking past him. He stared after him bewildered.

Josh thought he'd lost Tyler in the crowd of other students when he felt a hand yank him into empty classroom, the door shut behind him.

"So you're talking to me now?" Josh said as he finally made eye contact with Tyler.

"I'm sorry. I just-" he gave an exasperated sigh, one of his hands flying to his hair. "This isn't easy for me."

"And you think it's easy for me?" Josh scoffed. "I get hurled with abuse everyday because of Debby, by your friends."

Tyler shuffled his feet refusing to look at Josh. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"I should've been more open with you, I-I I'm not ready for a relationship, I'm still coming to terms with-with this." He gestured between them.

"And what is 'this' exactly?" Josh raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know man i'm only fifteen, I'm still working on figuring myself out."

Josh nodded his understanding.

There was an awkward silence before Tyler broke it.

"C-can I kiss you?" He blushed as Josh looked up at him.

Josh simply walked over and placed his lips to his, it was slow but urgent, like they knew anyone could come in and see them at any moment.

"Maybe we could set some rules or something?"

Josh practically snorted before he realised Tyler was serious, looking up at him expectantly with big doe eyes. Josh bit his lip to keep from melting at how cute he looked.

"Like what?"

"Like, we keep seeing each other like this, in private but it's not serious, no relationship, just our secret."

Josh huffed and folded his arms. That sounded terrible.

"Not forever, just until, until I have it figured out. I-Josh I can't come out, my father he-" Josh knew what anxiety looked like all too well and he knew when someone was on a downward spiral. He immediately pulled Tyler's lanky frame into his shorter slightly chubbier one and shushed him.

"It's okay, I'm not gonna pressure you to do that Ty, heck I wouldn't be out if someone hadn't dragged me. If you don't want to be in a relationship then we won't be, it'll be our little secret." Josh promised before pecking Tyler on the forehead and pulling away.

"Thanks." Tyler said and then the bell was going and Josh was slipping out the door.

For the rest of their first year of high school, Tyler and Josh quickly fell into a rhythm of notes in lockers that lead to rooftop meetings, or occasionally Josh would pull Tyler into an empty classroom or Tyler would only need to approach Josh at the end of a lesson for Hayley to practically explode with anger and storm off. Sometimes Josh would get more anxious than he should and Tyler would be much more gentle, kissing him until he felt safe again, as opposed to their usually ferocious make out sessions.