Under The Covers {joshler}

junior year - part eleven

Everyone was sent home (Josh and Mark without chance to see Tyler) much to Josh's sadness. Jenna promised that Tyler knew Josh had been there all night, but he'd been pretty doped up on meds.

Josh's parents were waiting for him when he got home at almost five am. He tried to sneak in but his father cleared his throat and turned on the hall light. Josh cursed inwardly as he turned around to face his angry parents.

"You have ten seconds to give your mother a damn good reason you were out of the house in the middle of the night, or else." His father said sternly and Josh gulped.

"Tyler almost died, I was at the hospital." Instantly Josh's mother rushed over to hug him. Josh broke down, exhausted, shocked he had any more tears left.

"Bill, honey, go back to bed, I'll deal with this." His mother said softly, guiding her son into the living room and onto the couch.

Reluctantly, Mr. Dun trudged upstairs to bed.

"Are you going to tell me what happened now?" His mother asked, brushing blue curls off his forehead before wiping his cheeks.

Josh couldn't stop himself from telling her everything, the secret relationship, the hiding and the fear, the break ups, the make ups, the mess of stress and emotion and how he just wanted Tyler back but something kept stopping him and he wasn't even sure what it was. He told her about what had just happened and the conversation with Mark too.

"Do you think perhaps you've realised just how important he is to you?" His mother asked when he'd finished sobbing out all his thoughts. She handed him a tissue to blow his nose, a worried look on her face.

"He's so important to me." Josh replied quietly, like it's a secret.

"Joshua, come here." His mother pulled him into her chest, running a hand through his hair and rocking him like she used to when he was a child and he'd hurt himself playing. It was warm and comforting. "You love him, and he loves you. But that fear, it's not because you're scared of Tyler or even of yourself." She began her voice soft like velvet. "It's your father." She added and Josh broke away from her hold to look at her confused.

"What?"

"Your father being gone, what he does for a living, it's terrifying. You get your worrying from me, and for as long as he's been in the air force you've been old enough to understand. To know that" she got choked up on her own tears as she tried to explain. "-that there's always a chance he won't come back. You've been an amazing help to me, and a damn good brother to your siblings, but you grew up too fast, and that's on me." His mother said sadly. Josh shook his head to protest but his mother simply held his cheeks and wiped more tears he didn't know he'd spilled. "You've never put yourself first, and now you did something for yourself it's probably very scary and disorientating, especially when the only example of a relationship you've had is your dad and I. But Tyler isn't going to walk out and never come back Josh, I've spoken to him and he absolutely adores you, it's okay to let yourself have this."

"I-it hurts. I threw it away and it hurts so bad I don't know what to do." Josh let out a strangled sob as his mother held him tightly, rocking him back and forth until his sobbing stopped and it seemed he'd cried himself out.

"It's okay baby, momma's here." She soothed, feeling him already about to fall asleep, her eyes glinting with tears as the nostalgia kicked in, remembering all the times he'd fallen asleep clinging to her as a child. It'd been a long time since he'd needed his mom. "Just follow your heart okay? You'll do what feels right, I know you will." She kissed the side of his head as she rocked him some more. Josh fell asleep a few minutes later.

Bill Dun blinked away the tears from his eyes, having witnessed the last ten or so minutes of Josh's breakdown when he'd come to check on them both. He made eye contact with his wife who was weeping silently as she held her oldest baby. After a conversation with just glances, he moved to take his son's sleeping body into his arms and carried him up the stairs to his bed, tucking him in. Just like he had done when he was smaller.

He held his wife close and kissed her forehead as they watched over their son sleeping for a soft moment before closing the door and heading to bed themselves.

Bill pretended not to notice Ashley peeking through the gap in her door, instead looking towards where the sun had begun peeking through the curtains.

Only an hour or so later Josh was startled awake by his alarm.

He trudged through his morning routine, half dead, zombie-like, as though his bones were molasses. He was surprised when his father said he would be driving all of his children to school that day, even more shocked when the previous night was seemingly forgotten.

He tried not to smile when Ashley and their father argued over Ashley going on a date after school, he did smile however when Abigail began singing along loudly to the radio and their father joined in just as badly, making Jordan grumble and plug his ears with his fingers. Even as Josh laughed at his siblings bickering and screaming song lyrics he realised that life was going to be okay. Maybe, there was some truth to the saying 'it's always darkest before the dawn' .

"Ty's parents aren't back 'til tonight their flights keep getting cancelled." Jenna said over lunch, to the table after they'd all been filled in on what had happened.

"Can we go see him?" Ashley asked and Hayley gave her a confused look.

Jenna nodded. "My mom's looking after Jay and Maddie, I think Zack stayed with his aunt today I didn't see him."

"I thought the therapy was working..." Ashley immediately trailed off as Josh sat down at the table, shrinking under the glares from Mark and Jenna that told her she shouldn't have said what she had.

"Don't stop on my account." Josh said with his hands up. Jenna immediately put her hand on his. At that exact moment, she looked up to see Emma walking past, at the look she gave her Jenna moved her hand.

Josh didn't even notice the exchange too busy rubbing his tired eyes. "We're sorry Josh." Hayley said and Josh sighed.

"No, sorry, I only got like an hour's sleep I'm just snippy." Josh apologised and everyone nodded understandingly before Nick decided to lighten the mood and talk about the next party he was planning.

Josh was about to grab his books from his locker before he went to wait for his ride home from school when someone called his name.

"Hey Josh!"

He turned to see Emma smiling and jogging to catch up. She brushed a stray hair off her face.

"We're still working on this project now, right?"

Josh slapped himself. "Of course, I completely forgot, some stuff happened uh, my dad was supposed to pick me up do you want me to like, give you the address or-"

"I can drive you home if that's easier?" She offered and Josh nodded deciding not to over complicate this, the sooner he finished this project the sooner he could go to the hospital to see Tyler. He shot his sister a text knowing she would actually check her phone before gesturing for Emma to lead the way.

...

"Hey Hayley, Tyler likes Taco Bell, right?" Ashley asked her best friend as she watched Josh climbing into Emma's car.

"Think so, why?" Hayley looked up from her phone to see where Ashley was staring. "What are you thinking?" She asked suspiciously.

"That Ty, needs a break from hospital food." Ashley smiled innocently before grabbing Hayley's wrist and pulling her towards Hayley's car.