adore - tomlinson

chapter eight

today ivy wanted to come over, and i told her yes. i should have said no, since my apartment is messy and i'm afraid she will hate me because it is a mess and she will leave me.

but instead, she laughs at it, and she decides to help me clean up my mess. ivy is nice, i tell myself, she is not mean and she wont leave me because i am messy.

ivy will leave me because i love her too much, and i know that.

but i really adore ivy for all that she does, she picks up all my dirty clothes and doesn't even squirm when she picks up my socks or boxers, she's so genuine and i love her so very much.

"thank you, ivy."

"your welcome, louis."

i hug her, and she pats my back.

i can feel something, much deeper than depression. it's crawling under my skin, running up my spine, into my heart and in my brain. it lingers in my stomach. it's name is fear, and it's name implies exactly how i feel about him with me.

i fear that ivy will leave one day and i will never see her, ever again.

but really, i want ivy with me all the time, and i want to see her face every day.

fear tells me that she will be gone soon, that depression will come with her leaving. i believe him, because of something i see in ivy's eyes.

love.

and that is the one thing that will break us.

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um ok guys ...

i never expected when i wrote the first sentence of this that people would actually like it

but you guys do and i think thats pretty rad

so this is me saying thanks, i guess.

thanks.