Janoskians One-Shots

Let Me In

There is a TRIGGER WARNING on this chapter. Also Luke's POVp

"Luke,  can I talk to you?" Jai called out to me. That was weird. Jai normally doesn't care about whether I want to talk to him or not. He's a little self-absorbed, so it's just something we all got used to.

"Sure, you know you don't have to ask." I respond and roll my eyes at him. He laughed nervously and started pulling at his face like he does when he's nervous.

"You know what? Never mind. It wasn't important anyways."

Ok that was weird.

"Is everything ok, Jai?" I ask dreading his answer.

"Yea everything is great!" He says with false enthusiasm. If I wasn't his twin brother m, I wouldn't of been able to tell a difference in his attitude. He was hiding something.

"Are you going to tell me or not, Jai!" I demand impatiently. He flinched back and refused to make eye contact.

"I'm sorry Luke. I'm so, so, so sorry. You have to understand!" He rambled leaving me confused. Then, just like that, I got it.

Oh.

"You hurt yourself again didn't you?"

Jai could only shakily nod his head in response.

"You were supposed to come to me before you hurt yourself Jai, not after you already have."

" I needed it!" He suddenly yelled in defense. "I needed it so much it hurt to not cut."

"You're so selfish sometimes! You're hurting me as well when you hurt yourself..."

Jai took a step back with wide eyes. I always get caught up in my anger and forget about how much of a sensitive topic that is for him.

"At least I came to you, but I see now that that was a mistake." He says darkly. I had clearly hurt him with my words, and it might of been to the point of no return.

"Jai, wait!" I stop him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You can tell me anything, and I promise I won't be mad. Just let me in."

He nodded slowly, but the frown on his face deepened. I almost didn't think he was going to say anything until he did.

"I just...it's hard for me too. You have to realize that, and when I come to you it's because I NEED you. I cut myself. A lot this time, but it still wasn't enough. And now I don't know what to do. I can't cut anymore than I already have because of blood loss, but at the same time I need to do something. I can't handle this anymore. I don't know what to do." Jai explains to me with so much emotion in his voice that I almost don't recognize him. I haven't heard my brother this emotional in at least a year. Ever since he really got bad, and became a shadow of his former self. Ever since I found him collapsed on the bathroom floor with blood trickling down his wrists.

"Jai," I start, "It's ok to ask for help. I love you more than life itself, and I'm here for you. You just need to trust me enough to let me know when you're feeling bad. We don't need a repeat of last year. I'm here for you. Beau is here for you. You even have so many friends that love you and would do anything to keep you happy. You just have to let us help you."

"What about James?"

I froze at those words. James was the reason Jai got so bad. James was the first person to find out about Jai's depression. He was the first to catch Jai self harming. Instead of being there for Jai when Jai needed someone the most, James treated Jai like he was diseased. He acted like Jai was a lost cause that needed to be locked up and Jai noticed. He noticed how his best friend hated him for simply being sad.

If that wasn't enough, James also chose not to tell anyone about what Jai was doing to himself. He bullied Jai instead and would taunt him when nobody was around. I could hardly believe it was happening when I had walked in on it happening.

Flashback:

I had forgotten my laptop charger in Jai's room from when we had filmed an episode of TwinTalkTime, so I had walked into his room to get it. I opened the door to hear a heated conversation, so I chose to eavesdrop.

"You're pathetic Jai. That's all you are and all you ever will be. You're brothers don't love you. Me and Daniel only tolerate you. I doubt even your mum really loves you. On top of that, you're depressed! Wow, why are you even still alive!" James was saying to Jai. By the end of it I was seeing red. I stormed further into the room and grabbed James by the shirt and threw him into the wall. I was going to do worse, but was held back by Jai.

"Luke, don't. He didn't mean anything by it, just leave it alone." Jai mumbled in James' defense.

"I want you out, now!" I yelled to James. "Why did you defend him?" I questioned turning to Jai.

"He's not worth it." Jai replied, looking down. I dropped our conversation there, which turned out to be a big mistake. Later on that night, I found Jai on the bathroom floor in the middle of a suicide attempt.

It was all James' fault he tried to kill himself.

End flashback.

"James doesn't matter. He wasn't worth it." I say to him before surprising him in a hug. I don't usually hug him first unless one of us really needs it, and right now he really needed it. "I know that sometimes you hate life, but I love having a life with you in it. You're my Jai Jai and I will personally murder anyone who tries to make you think you don't belong here."

"Thanks Lukey!" He whispers with a smile.

Just to be clear I don't think James would actually do this, it just fit into the story like that.