Janoskians One-Shots

Jai's Note

Hi. My name is Jai Brooks. If you're reading this then that means I have successfully killed myself. Surprised? Well, don't be. I've been depressed for a long time and neither my brothers or best friends ever noticed. You would think that someone would notice the countless nights I spent alone in my room willing myself to swallow the bottle of sleeping pills I stashed in my bedside table drawer, but no one ever noticed. I was always just Jai, the annoying boy who needed to just go away before a fight broke out. Well, looks like you got your wish. Enclosed is a letter to everyone I love and hold dear. Whoever you are that found me, make sure they get these letters. Thanks.

To Mum,
I know I'm a huge Momma's boy, so you probably know this already, but I really love you mum. You had nothing to do with this. I just needed you to know. Try not to think of me every time you look at Luke's face. You of all people know just how different we really are and always have been, so don't stop loving him because of me. I'm sorry I had to do this to you, but I just couldn't take much more. Stay the strong, caring woman you've been my entire life.

Love,
Jai

To Beau,
We didn't always see eye to eye, but most siblings don't. I don't want you to blame yourself for my death because it's truly not your fault. I've been broken for a long time so just know there was nothing you could have done differently to prevent this. You've always been a protective and loving older brother, but the truth is I was never good enough to deserve that. I know I hurt you with my words so many times and you have to believe how truly sorry I am for everything. I love you Beau. Keep being you.

Love,
Jai

To Daniel,
I mainly just want to thank you. You were always there for me during the bad times. Whenever one of my brothers took a joke too far and I just wanted to die then and there. You were always able to say the right thing and honestly if it wasn't for you, I probably would have died a lot sooner. Truthfully, you were like a third brother to me and I really hope you don't hate me after this. You were a great friend and I know you made every day almost worth looking forward to. Keep Beau from getting into too much trouble for me, will you?

Love,
Jai

To Luke,
You're probably the hardest person for me to write to. Somehow I just know it will probably be you to find my body and I'm sorry you'll have to see me that way. We've basically been a package deal from the start and I'm sorry I'm leaving you like this. Truly I am. I don't want you to blame yourself, but I know you're going to anyway. Believe me when I say that you were the best twin brother that I could ever ask for. I don't know how many times you literally stopped me from killed myself without even realizing it.  I know I didn't exactly show you, but I love you more than anything. I even feel bad for abandoning you like this, but I have to do this. I can't be in this cruel, unforgiving world much longer. I know you'll probably be wondering why I did this and the truth is that I don't really know. I've have been depressed since we were kids and I guess all of the hate as well as other things in life eventually got to me. Anyways, I have one request for you, Luke. Don't you dare become like me. I know we're identical twins and everything but don't make the same mistakes I did. You're stronger than I am. Much stronger. I want you to live, Luke. So, don't you even think about following me. I love you far too much for both of our lives to go to waste, so if you can just live life to its fullest for me.

Love,
Jai