Christopher
Two Weeks Later
Sitting at my desk in my office, I stared at the plain wall in front of me. I haven't been to this place in months but I felt like I needed to be here.
Walking off that elevator and not being able to speak to Tracey had to be the hardest thing. I've been telling myself that she's just on vacation or something.
Tapping my pen on the desk I just glanced around.
So many memories, good and bad.
I kind of feel like I only have memories left. I don't have anybody left in my corner. I've ran them all away.
Can't remember the last time I've felt this lonely.
I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not in love with Carlee anymore, knowing that isn't true. But she's happy now so why should I interfere?
My son probably doesn't even know me anymore and that's all my fault. I feel like I've let him down. I made all these promises about making sure he grew up with his family together but I've ruined that.
Wish I could take everything back and just start over. I want to start back from the day when that beautiful girl walked into my office. She made me so nervous, it was crazy. Day by day I just fell in love. Her attitude, her independence, her drive. She was amazing.
Maybe I would've waited a little longer before I brought a son into this world. I'm not saying that I regret him, I just hate that he has to be raised in the catastrophe.
I'm starting to worry that one day my son will grow up to hate me the way that I hate my father.
I've always felt like because he wasn't around and my mom was barely around, I didn't have anybody to teach me to be the man I'm supposed to be. I tried so hard to be that on my own but I always failed.
If I don't step up and be the father I'm supposed to be Junior will be exactly like me.
No woman deserves that.
Picking up the phone off the receiver I placed it to my ear. Hesitantly I dialed Carlee's number. It rang for a long time and just as I was about to hang up, her voice came through the phone.
"Hello." She sounded confused.
"Hey Carlee, it's me Chris."
"Hey, you're at the office."
"Yeah, I had to do a few things."
"Oh okay."
"I was calling because I wanted to know if it was cool if I came and got Junior. Maybe even keep him for a few days. I know you need a break."
"Umm sure you can."
"Alright cool, I'll be there in an hour."
"Alright, I'll get him cleaned up and pack his things."
"Okay, I'll see you then."
