I kept walking on the hallway to my other class, the class where Becca is with me. I was going to tell her everything, she had to know and i needed her advice too.
i arrived and she wasnt where she always was.. fuck.. was she going to skip the class or something?
please , please Becca cmon! i was thinking while i watched everyone enter the classroom.
finally she came in and i felt relief , she frowned at me when i waved to her.. what was going on?? all the people on the hallsways, now her. however she approached and sat beside me
me- whatsup?
becca- hey - she turned to the teacher after saying it and didnt say anything else
me- is everything okay?
becca- i dont know, you tell me -she wasnt even looking at me while saying this, there was obiousily something wrong
me- cmon becca, whats wrong? or are you in one of those 'bad days' ?.. you know, i just want you to be okay but theres something wrong i know it
she turned her face to me with a serious expression
becca- it's nothing about me sam okay?
me- okay -i said with a strong voice, a mad voice, she was getting upset, bitch.. i didnt even know why she was like that i was only trying to help
we both turned to the teacher and paid attention the whole class, well i couldnt get too concentrated because everyone had me thinking, what was going on?
the bell rang, and she stood up quickly while i was putting my books inside my backpack, she suddenly dissappeared but however i wasnt going to talk to her first. i was about to go to my locker and i saw her there beside it, she was talking with another girl, they were talking and laughing so definitely there was nothing wrong with her, her mad attitude was because something i did or said .. i didnt even know
i walked until i arrived to my locker, i heard she said bye to the girl and then came to my side. she was just looking at me while i was taking my books, it was kinda weird but i could feel she wanted to talk but wanted me to say "hey" first.. so whatever, i also wanted to know what was going on
me- hey...
becca- whats wrong with you? i didnt know you were like this
me- what? what are you talking about?
becca- yes, tracy told me about you and jake and zac too
me- no no no, whats going on? tell me everything they told you because im sure its all a lie.
becca- well you kissed zac when you were at his house, without a previous call or anything, zac was just taking an afternoon nap when you arrived to his house.. why sam ? you know jenny loves him and you dont even talk to him! what the fuck?! -before she could continue LYING i stopped her telling..
me- no wait, what the fuck you!!? why did you believe that? you know me bitch! i cant believe this.. really becca , and who told you?
becca- what makes me mad is that you didnt tell me about it.. you didnt tell me you liked zac, you didnt tell me anything!
me- because it's not true!
becca- and why do zac has a bracelet from you?
me- which bracelet?
becca- the one mary gave you on your birthday, the one with little diamonds and flowers
me- it must have undone from my wrist
becca- so now youre admitting it?
me- no! wait, well i did go to his house but it was a confusion, he told me he was going to have a party and i arrived and there was no one, he kissed me and then i called my mom and that was it. he kinda raped my lips. i didnt want to do anything! becca you have to believe me
becca frowned and i could see in her eyes she wasnt sure
becca- i have to go to my class
me- becca, think about it, and dont be a bitch
i saw her walking to her classroom, she turned around to see me while walking and then turned again, i punched my locker, i felt like an idiot because my hand hurt even though i didnt even punch it hard.
some people around looked at me and whispered to each other, i really was alone.. at that moment i felt the need to do what Becca always does.
if i just had a blade... wait no! i always say to her that doing that just makes things worse.. if i do it i would be contradicting mysel, i'll better wait to arrive home and tell my mom everything.. about jake, about becca, zac and jenny.. everything was wrong..
nobody was that much friends with me to ask me if what had happened was true or not, they just heard rumours and believed them. that is how it usually works everything in school.
you don't know someone, they tell you something about them, and you believe it. you start looking at them in a different way. you walk beside them and feel awkward because of what you heard, you feel like you know them and the reasons they did "what they did" and make them feel miserable with the looks you give them.
and everything because of a rumour.
the school was getting worse everytime.. so i decided i was going to do something about it... i had a match and money for gasonline.. no just kidding. there was a kind of forest near school and i had a fresh Dr. Pepper and a pb&j sandwich.. i was decided to skip all my next classes until the last one and then come back for my mom to come for me
i left my books in my locker so my backpack would be lighter and then stayed looking at the insides of my locker for a while, the people wlaked behind me to their respective classes and i stayed there like frozen. i wasnt 100% sure about what i was going to do but i would really feel better
i needed to breathe, think, and get back to my feet again..
i closed my locker and the bell rang, it was time for everyone to enter their classes.. but this time not me
everyone was entering some different classroom, i watched how some were running to get to their classes, some were finishing their food or throwing them without finishing them, and i... calmly as a bee in search of a flower, was walking to the entrance with my ipod on my right hand, and my beats on the other
i walked through some streets and then arrived to my destiny, the pretty forest. there was many many lilac flowers, big flowers.. not small, there where pines, tall ones and short ones, the air was fresh and the smell of the trees and the flowers combined and made a great scent.
i could feel my lungs full of natural soft air, i found a big log and sat on it, the view was not so good but i stayed there looking at the ground full of little sticks and plants.
i put on my beats with music on, to be more specific the song i was hearing accoring to my life in the moment was "Everybody's gonna let you down" by The Vaccines (in the right)
i took my sandwich and my dr. pepper and while i was thinking about everything i enjoyed my food and the place obviously.
