The Bad Girl's a Virgin✓

Shock

Short Chapter

I slowly open the door and slip into the house. My mother as most likely asleep or having phone sex with some guy. I need to get up stairs and tuck myself in before she gets up. I glance at my phone, it's 7:55. I was out for over twelve hours. Damn! I crept through the hallway then turned the corner to towards the stairs. That's when I saw her.

Mom!

"You're awake," I say sheepishly.

Her eyes were narrowed her hands folded. Dressed in her night robe, her long chocolate brown hair was in perfect condition like she never slept last night. I continuously knocked my two index fingers together trying to come up with an excuse of why I was just coming in.

"Yes. And I could see that you're just coming in. Where have you been Zana?"

"I went to a little drink up then I slept at Zada's," I said quickly .

She raised one brow and shifted her weight to her right foot as she studied me. My tousled hair, my dress with one strap gone was messy and dirty. The smell of smoke and alcohol probably wafted to her nose, because she twitched it as she stared at me. I bit my lip waiting for her to answer me. I hated when she tried to figure out where I've been or what I've done.

Finally she was satisfied and have me a small smile as she turned her back to me and headed to her room. As she did she shouted back to me,

"You're lucky today is Saturday!"

I smile to myself and breathed a sigh of relief and scurried up the stairs into my room. I closed the door behind me and fell onto my waiting bed. I lay there for awhile thinking and wondering. What happened to me last night was unreal. I acted strong but I'm shaken by the fact that Jackson forced himself on me. I was never in a such a situation before where I had no control and I was at the mercy of fate and will.

I stared up at the ceiling and thought. I may never tell anyone about this but I'm sure they may find out. Jackson is a dangerous son of a bitch. I saw it in his eyes that night. I saw my life end. I saw a deep dark hole through his eyes. That was the true most scary thing.

* * *

The day wore on, I showered, ate and watched t.v while finishing a bottle of wine. I was feeling down, and confused. Why me? Jackson's drunken words kept ruining in my ears.

"Sorry for the way I left. . . .

Diana's falt, she put me up to it. . .

. . . Sorry for that but I'm not sorry for this. . ."

Did Jackson like me? That's why his emotions ran away with him that night? That's why he held me down and began to undress me?
My mind was a sloppy mess and I kept taking more pills to make the pain fade, but as I did, the memory became clearer and I became more messed up.

I decided to take a rest and try to forget the incident. I clicked of the TV and radioed upstairs to my bed room where I lay down face down into my bed and closed my eyes. Tears started pouring from my eyes and I began to sob. I was vexed at myself for being so weak and fragile.

As my years flowed they pooled and wet the covers, my phone rang, vibrating as it did, nearly rolling off my bed. I ran my hands through my hair while drying my tears and tried stilling my sniffles. I picked up my phone and answered.

"Hello?" I answer stuffily.

"Zana? Are you okay?" a smooth sweet voice asked.

I sat up in bed, blinked twice, shocked to hear his voice at the other end of the phone.

"Clay? Wha- How'd you get this number?" I said shocked.

"Asked Zada's for it. I really wanted to speak to you. How your holding up. .sugarplum?"

I passed my hand through my hair closing my eyes. More tears poured out of my eyes, I didn't have any control over it. It just kept falling out of my eyes, wetting my face.

"I-I f-f-feel so a-a-ashamed, ahah," I wailed silently.

"Fucking idiot. I'm so sorry about my dick head brother. First he leaves you at a date then he forces himself on you. His a fucking maniac."

I couldn't talk, just whimper silently and internally, be angry.

"I really hate myself. I sound so stupid. Crying over the phone."

I heard him sigh over the phone. I imagined him slumped over a desk with his phone pressed to his ear

"Don't beat yourself up. It's his falt. I wish I could make you feel better but I don't know what to say."

I breathed in deeply.

"It's okay. I'll get over it eventually, I just need. . . time," I sighed.

"Yeah."

"Bye Clay."

"Bye. . . sugarplum."